Jersey Shore

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Lady Lola: D | 1 USERS: A+
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Remembrance of Things Smashed

Sammi takes issue with the fact that JWOWW and Snooki didn't deliver the bad news to her face. JWOWW introduces a long-forgotten layer to the drama -- Ronnie claims he and JWOWW conspired to hook up for about 15 seconds when they thought Sammi might hook up with The Situation. This plan seems to have formed between the first and second seasons, but it may have even happened before that. Either way, it was the first fracture in the girls' friendship. Back to the present, JWOWW can't believe what she's hearing. She says Ronnie has made up this supposed conversation, reminds everyone that she's in a committed relationship, and says she'd hook up with Pauly over Ronnie anyway.

Eventually Sitch steps in as the voice of reason (a precarious post for him indeed) and tells Sammi that the only person she could ever reasonably be mad at is Ronnie, the one who treated her like shit, used her, and laughed about it. Which is such a smart, basic thing to say, save for the fact that it demands a modicum of reason, intelligence, and self-awareness on Sammi's part. And that's without going into the factor of whether Ronnie would ever fully accept any culpability for his actions. That's a whole 'nother barrel of juiceheads. Sammi insists she was furious with Ronnie, but even Julissa calls bullshit on that statement. Sammi vagues that it was her own choices and decisions that have led her to this point right now. And what point would that be? The exact same place? Still with Ronnie? Still hating yourself? Still looking like a fool on national television? In a two-seasons-old bandage dress? Oh, okay, that point. Just so we're clear.

Julissa asks about Sitch's ultimate decision to passive-aggressively nark on Ronnie. Ronnie dismissively mocks that Sitch was "following girl code." He mainly takes issue with the fact that Sitch claimed to have his back, then finked on him. Hos before bros, as it were. It's Directed at just about anyone else, I could see Ronnie's logic. But we're talking about The Situation here. He's a two-faced punk who's always out for himself, and that's without his complicated history of rejection re: SamRo2.0. Ronnie takes another misogynistic dig, saying Sitch "was acting like what [he] chase[s]: a pussy." Sitch laughs it off, insisting that Ronnie should actually thank him for looking out for the girl that Ronnie supposedly loves when no one else, including Ronnie himself, would look out for her. Sitch speaks for all of us when he says Sammi and Ronnie are better off apart, and he was trying to do right by both of them.

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Jersey Shore

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