Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: F | Grade It Now!
So Crappy Together

Vinny and Pauly head down to the hot seat next. Julissa reminds us that Vinny made up a new nickname for Sitch: The Snitch-uation. Sitch claims he doesn't think he was a snitch all the time but does cop to it when Ronnie chimes in that a better nickname would be The Instigation. Speaking of, Julissa has the next package, which features Sitch stirring the pot over and over and over again. Highlights: The implication that Deena licks ass, that Ronnie was befriending JWOWW, and that Sammi was playing Ronnie with Arvin. Evil laughs and under-breath conversations on the duck phone abound. Julissa wonders why Sitch feels the need to put everyone on blast. He claims they're all personalities, and it's his job to keep people in check. Sammi accuses Sitch of going out of his way to cause drama, and Snooki hops on the bandwagon re: SamRo 2.0. He finally tells Sammi it's because he thinks she's a bad person. Ronnie interjects to say that Sammi's a hypocrite because she was all too open to Sitch's interference in Miami when he was tattling on the girls who wrote the note about Ronnie. Sammi calls Sitch a snitch, and he calls her a sneaky bitch, and they agree to disagree.

Julissa turns to Pauly, who jokes, "I love a good reunion this time of year!" He says he wishes he had some popcorn. Vinny plays the diplomat, acknowledging that Sitch is undeniably an instigator but also sometimes speaks the truth. JWOWW seconds that motion. Ronnie and Snooki question The Situation's motives, saying he might just be looking out for himself. Julissa wonders how Pauly maintains such an even keel in the midst of this madness. Pauly succinctly answers, "You get used to it," then basically says Sitch is a rat bastard. It's awesome. Because he could go around the room being all, "Sammi's a selfish asshole, Snooki's a whiner, Deena's a desperate clinger, JWOWW doesn't give a fuck and will bust your face in, Vinny's the Howie of the group, and Ronnie's a 'roid face." In essence, Pauly gets people. And maybe he's too dumb to really give a shit about the implications of all these fools' actions. That might have something to do with it.

Next up: Deena. Julissa asks how it was to be the new roommate. Deena admits it was hard at first and that she's still getting used to some personalities, but insists it was her best summer ever. Then Julissa introduces a package in which Deena falls... a lot. She also backs it up ("Face down, ass up, that's how I like to have a good time!") and generally acts like a drunken mess. At one point, she threatens another club-goer: "I will pick your nose and make you eat it!" Julissa: "Have you no shame?" Deena: "Clearly no." Julissa asks Sammi why she and Deena clashed from minute one. Sammi doesn't answer the question, just says she grew to like Deena eventually. Deena says that there is some sensitivity behind her hot mess exterior. Julissa: "The hot mess has a heart." Now, before you get all warm and fuzzy over that thought, Deena scream outs, "I don't lick ass!" Everyone's all, "Whoa! Who asked?" Deena insists the barber shop people made up that rumor, then says, "Poop comes out of a butt!" Consider that semi-pleasant moment effectively dead.

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Jersey Shore




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