Jersey Shore

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So Crappy Together

Now it's Sammi's turn. Julissa asks if she trusted Ronnie going into the summer. Sammi reveals that she didn't, but that she stayed in the relationship because she thought her love for him would be enough. We're forced to endure a rehash package of the worst relationship in the world. Seriously, if Ike Turner were still alive, he'd be all, "Why are you still with that fool?" After the last bit, in which Ronnie is weeping like a baby, Julissa brings up Ronnie to share his side of the story. He comes back with a bang, saying it was a waste of tears in light of what he "found out" Sammi did to him with Arvin. (Point of note: That's still unsubstantiated.) Julissa asks if there's a double standard at work. Clearly not understanding the meaning of the question, Ronnie is all, "Yeah! Definitely!"

Julissa asks where they are right now. They say they decided that, despite their "love" for each other, they were best apart and decided to take a break from their toxic relationship. Sammi sheds a weak tear at this news. The roommates can't wait to agree with this decision, saying they lacked clear communication -- among other things like integrity, self-respect, and bottom-barrel intelligence. Julissa wonders if there might still be a future for these two. Sammi stays quiet. Ronnie says you never know what the future holds but thinks the strain between them now is too great. In support of this, he says, "Right now you could cut the fucking tension with a butter knife." Which, ugh, don't get me started. Nimrod can't even get his metaphors right.

Julissa asks Sammi how her time away from the shore was. Sammi says it was a peaceful time that allowed her to pick herself up a little. Julissa asks what Ronnie learned during their trial separation. As he is living in total oblivion, he says he learned that he has to accept some blame and that he can't always put his problems on someone else. That is, until he finds out that she texts another guy that she kissed once a couple years ago. Julissa introduces the package showing Sammi's return and ultimate text-related demise. It ends with Sammi asking, "So this is over?" All the guys admit they would have liked Sammi to have stayed away a little longer -- if not permanently. Sammi admits she was putting on a show of not caring for Ronnie when she came back, even though she still had hope he might have changed. In 36 hours?

Julissa asks if JWOWW was surprised when SamRo 2.0 got back together. JWOWW harkens back to Miami, saying the relationship was on an inevitable path to destruction because of what happened in Season Two. Next to the issue of Arvin. Sammi sticks to her story that Arvin was just a friend that she hooked up with nearly three years ago. She says she lied because she was scared that the truth would destroy everything good happening between her and Ronnie. (Which happened anyway.) Julissa asks Sitch for his input, and he simply says that he thinks guys and girls can't be friends. But that antiquated bullshit is no matter, because it all comes down to whether a one-time make out should be considered "hooking up." Sammi thinks it shouldn't. Ronnie thinks it should. Want to ask that double standard question again, Julissa?

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Jersey Shore

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