On to Deena's Sapphic moments, including her robbery of one of Sitchy's twins. Deena says she figured Sitch didn't have a chance, so she went for it. Sitch admits he was mad that she busted up his threesome but had to respect that Deena "did her thang." Paffrath says Deena has more game than the guys, and Deena confirms that she suspects she could have gotten that threesome going if she'd pushed for it. Sitch says he strongly doubts that, though I suspect it's because he can't imagine a sexual scenario in which a penis isn't involved or the women having sex aren't filming porn. Deena thinks all girls who are close friends get drunk and make out. Sitch asks, "Do they finger pop each other, too?" Deena snaps, "You know what? She finger popped me, and it was the best thing that fuckin' happened in Italy." Well then.
Paffrath brings Snooki back to discuss her and Deena's blackout hook-up. Snooki and Deena deal with the unbearable weirdness by channeling entirely different personas named Flo (Snooki) and Marge (Deena). Snooki points out her other friends Nancy (JWOWW) and Marie (Sammi). JWOWW cups her face in her hands and mutters, "This is gonna be a long one." Paffrath asks a general question about what makes Team Meatballs tick, and Deena starts nattering something about her (Marge's). Ronnie cuts her off to be like, "Stop being a dumbass and answer the question as yourself." Snooki tells him (or his alter ego Abraham, as it were) to shut up.
As if this interlude had never happened, Deena screams, "Meatball power!" they air kiss, and they're back to Snooki and Deena. Paffrath takes her window of opportunity to roll the Meatball package, which some "clever" writer tried to make literary by leading in with, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... a tale of two Meatballs." Groan. Highlights: They fall... a lot, Deena dances her underwears off then flashes her cuca to il club, they dip in each other's lady ponds, and Snooki explains Meatball Problems as "being short, being drunk, and being a fuckin' moron." The kicker? Snooki realizing, "We shouldn't reproduce." After the package, Deena spells out the technique of peeing in a hot tub (who says Jersey Shore isn't educational?).
Paffrath asks JWOWW a question that really answers itself: "Is taking care of the Meatballs hard work?" JWOWW gives some back-story about Snooki vomiting under a bar and Deena nearly getting into a fight during their Riccione trip. Snooki and Deena channel their inner eight-year-olds as they make the other roommates for being boring and stuck up. When asked about their hook-up, Deena says they've hooked up before. Snooki: "Meatballs, they're allowed to play around in the sauce." I think I just got herpes from that comment. Yuck. The girls declare the trip to Riccione a mission accomplished.