Jersey Shore
Shore Shower

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DeAnn Welker: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Baby Shower Problems

Previously: Drunkenness. Fighting. Sex. Breakups. And, last week, we got a reprieve. But now the orange-dyed kids from all over the Northeast claiming to be "Jersey" are back to torment us for a few more weeks. First, Snooki wakes up and heads over the house. She complains a little about Jionni not coming over because he has softball tournaments, which is hobby. She's really not as pissed about it as Deena is, though. So Deena invites her for a Meatball date. But first Snooki calls Jionni and tries to talk to him. It's a pretty ridiculous conversation because first, he can't hear her; and second, it's them. She complains that he's not there to take care of her. She interviews about how sexy it is that Jionni's into playing softball, but she misses him. Ron eavesdrops and doesn't seem to like what he's hearing. But he moves on quickly, puts on a gorilla suit and wakes up Jenni, who freaks out.

Later on, they're having a group dinner, minus the Meatballs who are on their own date. And, thankfully, we get to relive Ron scaring Jenni. Because it wasn't enough for us to see it, we also get to hear Jenni tell Sam about it. And now you are lucky enough to read me recap the recap of the moment. Ron and Mike complain about how annoying it is that Snooki's so unhappy and never smiles, just because she's pregnant. The whole gang is pretty pissed that Jionni's off playing softball instead of being there with his pregnant girl.

Meanwhile, Snooki and Deena have their cute date with virgin drinks. Snooki wants Deena to go to the baby store with her the next day, but Deena says she promised Sam she'd go get food to cook for Ron. She's really just trying to keep Snooki from the baby store because they already bought everything there for her secret shower. So they start talking about what they wear to bed. Deena won't sleep naked because -- I am not making this up -- she's worried a bug will crawl up there and start having babies and then she'd be, like, having bugs. Um, weird. And ew. Deena really needs to spend what little brain power she has on something else.

Dinner's over and Mike's all excited to be MVP and find DTF chicks. He thinks that rhymes because they're both acronyms. They don't. Then they look around and find Paula. He tells her she looks hot, but tells us that he just keeps thinking about her acting like a dude and talking about the shocker. He heads off, and Paula goes to Jenni and Sam to get some sympathy. They both feel awful for her, because they can tell she's about to cry. MVP is doing great with the ladies though, with girls grinding all over them. Sam thinks Mike's downgraded and Paula's watching it from afar, looking sad. Jenni's sick of watching a go-go dancer who doesn't know what she's doing, so she gets up and dances better than her. Vinny's assessment: "Jenni's fake tits definitely did not go to waste tonight." That's fair. Mike's trying to hook up with a girl when Paula comes by and tells him she's leaving. He's not thrilled to be getting cock-blocked, as the girl he's been talking to decides to leave. MVP ends up with no chicks, and head home to pleasure themselves, I guess.

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Jersey Shore

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