Getting-ready-music-montage. Cleavage creating. Shoe shining. Hair slicking. Hair spraying. And they're off, without a "Cabs are here!" So disappointing. Ronnie's friends are at Karma. There are three of them: Chris, Dario, and Chris. Deena has a thing for Dario, and asks him to dance. Then they start making out right there at the table. JWOWW and Snooks dance together somewhere else. Mike looks up some girls' skirts. Good-time Vinny's fist-pumping. Snooki ends up meeting a guy named Jeff, and accuses him of having a girlfriend. He says he doesn't, so they're making out soon enough. Sam's all freaking out about it, and it is pretty gross and graphic. Snooks says she's taking him home tonight, for sure. Deena asks Ron if Dario will snuggle with her, and she's ready to go now. Sam looks disgusted, but they all go ahead and leave with Deena and Dario.
At the house, it's JWOWW alone, then Snooki and Jeff. She rushes him up to the smoosh room, so Jenni won't freak out about her doing it in their room. She tells us that Jeff's "definitely DTF." And, uh, what guy isn't? They roll around in bed as she tells us about all the moves he was ready to do on her. But she had her period. "Story of my frickin' life." Meanwhile, Dario's feeding Deena a bunch of food as she's telling him she wants to go to the gym because she's so fat. He wants to go inside, but she tells him it's just to cuddle. She uses a couple clichés to explain to us that she doesn't have sex on the first night ("It's not Halloween. I'm not handing out candy for free" and "You need a golden ticket to get into these drawers") then they head to the room and make out. She tells him she hasn't had sex in three months, and they do it. It's okay, though, because she assures us Dario was, like, a good guy.
Next morning, JWOWW and Sammi are going to work. They try to wake up Mike, but he won't get up, and JWOWW's not catching any shit for him. So they leave. Snooki wants her boy Jeff to dance on the stripper pole for her, though she doesn't need him to strip. He asks if the pole will break, but after her assurances that it won't, he goes ahead and gives it a shot. And, of course, falls on his ass. They laugh. And I try not to fall asleep. Fortunately, we get to see the whole thing a second time after a commercial break. Snooki tells us how much of a blast Jeff is, then they kiss on the porch before heading to the boardwalk to ride the rides. They try to get other couples to make out, then she realizes he has a tongue ring and they kiss some more. Which somehow leads to her telling him that the ocean is salty because of whale sperm, so she won't go in it. Unless she's, you know, drunk enough to get arrested.