Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C- | 939 USERS: C+
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The Longest Break-Up

Later, Jeff's filling her in on his whole life. He was in the Army, and then the mob, and he had a girlfriend for three years, to whom he was engaged. Snooki freaks out and asks if he has an STD. He says it was a promise ring, and the girl was a virgin. She's okay with the promise ring as long as it wasn't an engagement. Snooki's freaked out, because he's looking to settle down and she's really not. So now she starts pushing him away and then tells him to leave. She's "on to the next one."

Back home, the phone quacks and it's Jeff, wondering if Snook was serious. She says she's angry at him for not telling her that sooner. Am I confused, or didn't they just meet a half a day ago? He says she didn't ask, and she tells him it's a big deal. "Hello!?" Then she tells him to go fuck himself and hangs up. Pauly tells her if she doesn't find a new guy at Karma, she can have him. Phone quacks again and Snooki tells everyone not to answer. But DJ Pauly D can't resist. He puts on his best fake phone voice (which is quite good) and says, "Thank you for calling the Jersey Shore store. We are unable to get to the phone at this time, but leave your name, your number, and a brief message after the tone, we'll get back to you. Thanks." Then he presses a button to make the tone, and Jeff starts leaving a message, saying he doesn't get why Nicole's pissed after they were fine all day, and he apologizes. So Pauly interrupts and stars in "For Jenni, press 1. For Snooki, press 2." The guy presses the button, but Pauly pretends it was Deena's mailbox and that it's full. He hangs up. Phone quacks and Pauly pretends it's pizza. JWOWW, wearing half a shirt (the front half, fortunately) tells Snooki she can't believe "homeboy got attached." Snooki doesn't want to talk. So Pauly tells Jeff that Snooki's mad, and so he better send "roses to the house. Roses, dawg, with pickles in 'em. Fried pickles!" Then he hangs up. Snooks laughs us into commercial.

Jersey Shore

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