Jersey Shore
Situation Problems

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Knockin' the Dust Off

The next day, Deena expresses her frustration about missing the penis. Sammi stupidly thinks Pauly was actually being honorable last night and not just discerning. Deena reiterates, "I miss penis." JWOWW: "But you had the vagina for a little while." Deena: "Yeah..." Put that one in the books, bitches. One of the better exchanges of the season.

That evening, Snooki and Deena get ready for Meatballs Night Out. Snooki interviews (behind her a giant projection of the Minnie Mouse-style bow-headbands that she has taken to wearing this season... awesome) that she is stressing out about Jionni. She's never felt this way about a guy [Note: Absolutely humiliated and borderline emotionally abused? What a lucky girl. -- RS.] and needs to dull the anguish by getting sauced with her fellow Meatball (no pun intended). Deena puts on a bright red tube top shortall situation and her cowboy hat -- the same one she wore when she showed Sitch her cuca in Season 3? It would seem so because she announces, "When Deena has the cowboy hat on, she means business."

They head out in broad daylight, and Snooki declares, "We look so cute right now. We belong in Jersey with these outfits." They head into their local spot and demand music. Deena climbs on the bar, and she and Snooki dance with abandon, assuming several tandem dance positions that I can only assume are in the Kama Sutra. Snooki says they can bring the party even if it's 11 AM. Is it 11 AM? That seems like it would be too early for them, but given the generally non-blitzed manner of everyone around, maybe? Snooki makes a move to do the robot on top of a chair and falls down with a squeal. Never fear! She pops back up and lets her arms swing freely, as robots do. Then Deena teaches a 14-year-old Italian girl to do the Jersey Turnpike on her while the girl's parents watch. Not right.

Back at the house, Pauly cleans the rank, jizz-stained bathroom -- with someone's unclaimed toothbrush. The Situation ambles in a bit later and grabs the toothbrush to brush his teeth. While he goes to town on his incisors, Pauly and Vinny laugh and laugh and laugh. Sitch leaves the room none the wiser.

Team Meatballs finish up at the bar and embark on a slurry stroll home and take a brief disco nap before getting ready for the Shore whores last Saturday night in Italy. For Vinny, this involves busting out what Pauly calls his "communion shoes." Ronnie throws on a big, gaudy chain. Deena and Snooki each wear a black and a white Yeti boots. Deena she tries to mount the table in the kitchen and smashes her head into the chandelier. Pauly explains that this is one of many "Guido Problems."

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Jersey Shore

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