Jersey Shore
Situation Problems

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Knockin' the Dust Off

It becomes the next day, and they're still awake. They don't know what time it is, but they know the sun's up, so they decide to go out again. They take a brief break to put on even sluttier outfits that they had on yesterday (Snook = shiny leopard print minidress with matching thigh high boots and hat; Deena = highlighter yellow zebra striped mini). To give you a little context, even Snooki thinks she looks like "a two-cent hooker." Deena acknowledges she's got a bit of the street walker chic to her as well, then wonders, "So where are we even going?" Oh, that question works on so many levels...

I'm not sure where they think they're going to find a drink at 7:30 AM, but they do make innovative use of the scenery for a Top Model-style pose-off. (Frankly, it's more compelling than anything Mr. Jay and Tyra have turned in for several seasons.) They find an open cafe and clarify for the hostess, "We're not hookers, we're just Jersey." Snooki says they plan to get Meatball Wasted (is that like Chocolate Wasted?). Instead, things take a turn for the misguidedly introspective as Snooki philosophizes, "Dude, we're living our freakin' lifes." Deena counters, "I'm dying." They both lay their heads down to mull that over. Some time later, they wake up and decide to leave. On their way out, a man bids them, "Go to sleep. Relax." When a foreign stranger is giving you that kind of advice... uffo! They arrive back home to find their roommates awake. Pauly jokes, "Holy leopard skin. What do they put in the alcohol in this country?" In fact, Snooki's so drunk she can't even get into her bed, so she collapses into a little (Meat)ball on the floor.

While they sleep it off, Ronnie readies the barbecue for a change from the pasta and pizza. And by "readies," I mean sets a 1.5-alarm fire. The alarm being Pauly's vuvuzela voice. Ronnie blasts the hell out of the barbecue with the fire extinguisher, then drags Sammi with him to buy groceries for Sunday dinner. Once they're back home, they begin to unload as Deena stumbles out of the bedroom with hangover face. JWOWW asks if she can do the dishes. She knee-jerks, "No." Sitch says she never does anything and thus waketh the sleeping Meatball. They agree that they have mutual disdain for each other, which probably would have been all well and good.

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Jersey Shore

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