Jersey Shore
Situation Problems

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Knockin' the Dust Off

Suddenly, The Situation announces that no one needs to worry about the displeasure of rooming with him because he probably won't return to the Shore at all. Snooki is more than happy to hear that and bids him a premature farewell. Seeing that this might be her last chance to shit all over him, Deena piles on that she doesn't consider him a friend. Snooki tells him that no one in the house likes him whether they say so or not.

Out on the smoking porch, SamRo 2.0 make a vow to avoid conflict in Jersey by distancing themselves from Sitch as they have in Italy. And it starts... now! Sitch walks outside to join them, and they leave immediately. He interviews that he has no problem standing by himself and that others gang up on him because he's strong. Kind of like that ugly, boring bitch at summer camp who said you only side-eyed her because you were jealous of her looks and talent.

Inside, Sammi explains her perspective to Vinny. She says that rooming with Sitch would give her flashbacks to last year's bust-ups. Vinny says he has his own issues, and Sitch's only options are change or leave. He heads into the living room to talk it over with JWOWW, Deena and Pauly. The girls think it's a lost cause. Even diplomatic Pauly jumps ship in an interview, saying, "To be honest, it's VP. Mine and Vinny's relationship is beautiful." Then he and Vinny pile into a twin bed together. Wait... Things just got weird, no? Pauly explains, "My man Vinny loves me. We have a bromance, and... we get it in." Pauly rips open a condom, and Deena asks, "Can I watch?" They're laughing, but her face is dead serious. Girl misses the penis. Vinny doubles over with laughter, and Deena says, "Oh wow. You're the one? I always figured." She can't help but wonder how "doing sex" would ruin her and Pauly's friendship, but not Vinny and Pauly's. She reports the goings-on back to Snooki. As Pauly displays the unfurled condom, Snooki begs, "Aw, come on! Do it again!"

The next day, Sitch interrupts Deena as she's drying her hair. He wants to use her bathroom, so she lets him pass before locking the door and laughing at him for several minutes. He threatens to kick the door down then... does nothing. On the upside, at least it's not the disgusting toilet that practically served as the ninth housemate last season. Eventually Deena stops laughing and calls Ronnie in. He yanks the door hard enough to pull out the door frame but ultimately rescues the Situation in distress. Ronnie jokes that Sitch's restrained showed that "he actually used his head for once... well not like he did on the wall..."

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Jersey Shore

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