Angelina out of nowhere tells both of them that she loves them and would marry them. Situation escapes in the chicken finger making while Pauly glosses over her heartfelt admission and asks her to stay out of his business. He says the conversation's over, and she starts crying like a little bitch. Oh, but wait! She lashes out, telling Pauly and Sitch that they don't care. And underscored to the sounds of Mike's crumpling freezer bags, she smacks Pauly! It's not even a kick-ass, in-your-face JWoWW punch, either. Just a wilting slap across the cheek as insincere as it was lame. Pauly tries to maintain his composure as Sitch tells Angelina all the kinds of fucked-up she's acting.

Seeing that she won't come over to his side, Situation takes leave. Angelina turns to Pauly, who barely looks at her. He interviews that Angelina had only two friends in the house to begin, and now she has none. The guys head outside to vent about Angelina's bipolar behavior. Of course she follows them out, so Pauly repeats what he said during the interview, only a hundred times louder and infinitely meaner. In sum: "We hate you, Angelina. Drop dead, you stupid skag."

Next week: Snooki counsels Angelina on how to turn things in her favor. Ronnie and Sammi continue to be the most dramatic yet least interesting couple in history. The Situation and Pauly find Miami-grade grenades. And Vinnie begins his uncle-sanctioned "bang everything" strategy. First stop: Snooki.

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