Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: F | Grade It Now!
Mail Call-Out

The next morning, it's naked chicks everywhere! Just another day for the kids of the Jersey Shore. After all this exertion, Sitch decides to skip T and L only so he can take time to shop for tonight's family dinner. They also note that it's Angelina's turn to clean up the house. Shockingly, Angelina spends her entire day talking on the phone instead of cleaning. Cue drama. Neon-shirted drama, no less! And Sitch advising Angelina to hit the treadmill. Question: Why is Angelina in an Herve Leger bandage dress in the middle of the day? Does this bother anyone else? Needless to say, there's a lot of stereotypical Italian yelling and nothing gets solved.

That afternoon, JWoww takes Snooki out so she can move on from Emilio. Snooki is very upset about this failed relationship, though I couldn't tell you why. Emilio is about as useless as a bald man at a Pouf retreat.

That night, the fight between Sitch and Angelina carries on, and tension permeates the house. Sitch eventually apologizes, despite Angelina's haggery, and they all conclude that she is neither excluded from Ravioli Night, nor Asparagus Night, nor Surf 'n' Turf Night, etc. Shout out to last season, and everybody wins!

Once dinner begins, Pauly notices that Snooki is but a Pouf-shell of what she used to be. He offers to take Emilio's Social Security number and sort the whole thing out. She says that she's over it, that tomorrow she's going out and remind us all of the face punch-worthy hooch she used to be.

A few hours later, Snooki gathers all her pictures of Emilio and burns that shit up. Including all the dates they went on that she paid for. What a catch!

Speaking of, that night is the moment when JWoww and Snooki finally decide it's time to plant their "anonymous" letter so Sammi can find out the truth about Ronnie. They claim not to sleep much that night, but eventually it's time to report to work at the gelato shop.

While they're at work, Sammi finds the note, which says, according to her, that "Ron gets with fat chicks, hooks up with girls, holds hands with girls, got a girl's number..." All in all, a pretty amazing enumeration if you ask me. And yet, this is the one time that Sammi deems it valuable to consult with the other guys so she doesn't "look stupid." Sheesh. Did you see the first season, honey? Naturally, none of the guys are willing to turn on Ronnie.

Over at the gelato shop, Snooki and JWoww are in meltdown over the consequences of their self-perpetuated drama.

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Jersey Shore




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