Back at home, Vinnie communicates -- via improvised sign language -- to Ronnie that Sammi has caught wise to his deceptions. Ronnie interviews that the people who sent this "anonymous" notes are jerk-offs and should "man up." I cannot even begin to comment on how rich and ridiculous those statements are, because we would seriously be here for days. To keep it short, Ronnie is toast.
So he heads into Sammi's room to grab the bullshit by the horns. He says he immediately suspected Sitch, Snooki or JWoww. Once he saw the letter, he claims it could never be Snooki because she wouldn't use the word "Wisely." Oh, the irony! He thinks his roommates should mind their own business, which is really neither here nor there. Eventually, he admits to some of the accusations, which only bolsters Sammi's feelings that he's guilty of everything. Purple eye shadow and black eyeliner flow down cheeks as Ronnie insists that he's not that far in the weeds. He estimates that, if a grave is six feet, he's probably only three feet down. So he's a prick and a butterface? A winning combination!
Ronnie sets about figuring out who wrote the letter. He's less concerned with the accusations (because they were true) than with the anonymity. In case you haven't figured, these are people with arbitrary standards of honor. For example, it's okay if you're an out-and-out asshole as long as you admit it and express regret (regardless if it's fake). Therefore, it was the worst thing anyone could ever do to write an anonymous letter of indictment. In accordance with their nonsense standards, that makes the letter writers the guilty party -- not Ronnie. Because at least Ronnie's honest about what a d-bag he is. Get it?
So Sammi and Ronnie have it out about the aforementioned d-baggery. Ronnie claims he doesn't remember making out with any other chicks. Twice. Cue footage. Twice. He does admit to getting another girl's number, and that's enough to make Sammi sick. She walks away, and Ronnie follows. She cries about how horrible Ronnie is, and he claims he never did anything wrong. Sound familiar? Then she says (all together now!), "We're done." Somehow in the midst of all this, he continues to be the one that's offended while she's the one looking for another pillow case for all her crying. Ridiculous.
Meanwhile, Vinnie and Pauly revise their itinerary to GTF: "Gym, Tan, and Find Out Who Wrote the Note." JWoww and Snooki, who are still back at the gelato shop, can't take the suspense any longer. They call the house in hopes that Angelina will answer and they can find out whether Sammi found the note. When they call, Sammi answers and gives them the third degree about whether they were the ones who left the note. They play dumb. Pathetically. And revel in the drama. And when The Situation hears about this "anonymous" note (that he truly believes is anonymous... because he's a frigging idiot), he takes it to the next level. Homeboy is positively thrilled.