Snooki asks Ronnie about the "Do what you gotta do," and he doesn't blink. He's all, "Yeah, I said it, and that's your problem." He says he doesn't want to get roped into anybody's drama... The Situation's, Jionni's, whatever. Snooki starts crying again. Though he's still unapologetic, Ronnie gives her a really weirdly timed hug and kiss on the forehead. Snooki feels really upset that nobody has her back and says dramatically it's the worst she's ever felt living with the roommates. Really, Snooki? This is worse than two nights ago? Alcohol really does kill brain cells, huh?
While she seeks comfort with Crocodilly, the roommates take Sitch to task for ruining the awesomest night ever. JWOWW warns him that Snooki will choose Jionni over him any day of the week. And then he randomly starts talking about her sucking him off. Seriously, I cannot explain or point out the transition because there was none. JWOWW and Sammi are both like, "Seriously, man. WTF? You're talking about my friend." Sitch confrontationally throws his arms out and blurts, "Well, she did that!" Like it exonerates him for being a tacky prick.
Everyone starts to get ready for bed, and Snooki realizes that slutty itch isn't going to scratch itself. She wiggles her way into Pauly's bed, but Deena protests, so she moves over to Vinny's. We really are back in Jersey! Sensing that Vinny is keeping distance between them, Snooki asks, "Would you cuddle without being a freak?" Vinny snorts back, "What does that mean? Get a boner?" So, with Sitchy lying in the bed he made for himself and Pauly watching in vast amusement (after kicking Deena out of his bed, natch), Snooki tells Vinny, "I want you to fuck me." Ah, romance! He asks, "Are you with Jionni anymore?" She shakes her head, and they start to make out. They really should put a Breathalyzer on these kids' beds.
Next week: Of course Snooki regrets what she did. Of course The Situation sticks in his nose where it doesn't belong. Of course bottles bottle are hurled at him and sent to shatter on the floor. And of course JWOWW fruitlessly continues to try talk sense into Snooki re: Jionni, causing another rift in their relationship.