JWOWW skips out on Roger and finds Snooki. They take the party upstairs only for JWOWW to realize she has to pee. Since there are no bathrooms upstairs, she does the ladylike thing and pops a squat behind the empty bar. Yep, she just peed on the floor. But it's okay, see, because she pours water on it after. Pure elegance!
Out on the patio, Sammi reaches the pouty portion and tells Ronnie she's going home. He pulls out some goofy faces and gets her to register perhaps her first smile of the season (unless you count the evil grin when she knowingly robbed JWOWW of the nice room on the first day). Ronnie interviews that he knows their relationship isn't healthy, but he hopes their dysfunction will make them stronger. Wait, what? He says he'd give up anything for her (except other girls and his Jersey-sized ego, of course), and blows some smoke up her ass about wanting to be with her forever. Sammi also knows that she and Ronnie probably shouldn't be in a relationship, but says she wants to make it work anyway. Well, as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drown itself.
Inside, Pauly locks eyes with his Israeli stalker from last summer. He decides to take leave immediately but doesn't get out before she throws a drink on him. Luckily, Pauly's motorcycle-proof hair isn't compromised, and he laughs it off. He and Vinny take home some tricks. Vinny gets down to business, but Pauly's girl turns out not to be DTF, so he cuts his losses and goes to sleep. Meanwhile, Sitch brings home Paula and invites Ronnie to make some food. They prepare her a delicious meal of 32 turkey burgers since they froze together in the freezer. Paula is in the middle of her first turkey burger when Vinny finishes in the bedroom. His girl says she wants to meet a friend. He appreciates her efficiency and calls her a cab. And that was the best 14 minutes of her life!