Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: A | Grade It Now!
Crunk & Disorderly

T-shirt Time fast approaches, so Vinny calls the cabs and JWOWW admires her newly concrete-ified breasts. Pauly predicts that they'll have to carry Deena out of da club tonight. With that, they're off to Karma. JWOWW immediately sets eyes on her ex Roger. While they're reconnecting, Deena drinks and dances, dances and drinks. In fact, she gets loose enough that she falls off the stage about five times in a row and is saved from cracking her head by a guy on the sidelines who catches her over and over again. Eventually a bouncer spots her utter inebriation and tells her to leave. She claims she can walk out on her own, but the bouncers insist on carrying her wobbly ass out to a cab. Sitch plays off of Deena's self-proclaimed "Walking Holiday" nickname, calling her the Holiday Inn and saying, "Six minutes and fifty-three seconds into Karma, the Holiday Inn closed early tonight."

Back inside, The Situation spots his former hook-up Paula and invites her back to the house. As they foreplay dance, Snooki follows in Deena's sloppy footsteps, getting drunker and drunker until she can barely stand up. Vinny encourages her to tone it down, but she's in no mood to take his advice since he rejected her the night before. On the flip side, JWOWW is sending out strong "yes" vibes to her ex -- whom she deems "a juice monkey with feelings" -- as she tells him she's been checking his Facebook to see whether he's still single. She says they should spend some time together, and he jumps at the chance. Just a few minutes later, JWOWW's walk on the wild side is halted when a friend tells her that Roger has a girlfriend. She calls him out on it, but he plays dumb and claims he can't hear her over the music. They take it outside, where JWOWW's friend is all, "Yeah, I just cock blocked your ass."

JWOWW skips out on Roger and finds Snooki. They take the party upstairs only for JWOWW to realize she has to pee. Since there are no bathrooms upstairs, she does the ladylike thing and pops a squat behind the empty bar. Yep, she just peed on the floor. But it's okay, see, because she pours water on it after. Pure elegance!

Out on the patio, Sammi reaches the pouty portion and tells Ronnie she's going home. He pulls out some goofy faces and gets her to register perhaps her first smile of the season (unless you count the evil grin when she knowingly robbed JWOWW of the nice room on the first day). Ronnie interviews that he knows their relationship isn't healthy, but he hopes their dysfunction will make them stronger. Wait, what? He says he'd give up anything for her (except other girls and his Jersey-sized ego, of course), and blows some smoke up her ass about wanting to be with her forever. Sammi also knows that she and Ronnie probably shouldn't be in a relationship, but says she wants to make it work anyway. Well, as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drown itself.

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Jersey Shore




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