Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 839 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Breaking Plates & Broken Records

They finally sit down to eat, and Sitch off-handedly mentions how fun da club was the night before. Angelina tries to act like she's a member of the in crowd by laughing about some skeeze that Ronnie was macking. Of course, in doing this she blows Ronnie's game and reveals her lies to Sammi. Sammi slaps on a sour mug as they guys quickly change the subject.

After dinner, la famiglia plays a game of truth or truth, featuring a big bowl of questions that everyone must answer. Snooki adds that they decided to "put sexy clothes on and act like dumbasses," as if this is unusual behavior. Angelina's sexy dumbass outfit is nothing more than a camisole, which Pauly D quickly points out has an uncanny resemblance to a garbage bag. Man, I hope they never let that one go. Angelina needs these reminders. The game starts with the question "Who is the President of the IFF?" If you refer back to your meticulous notes, you'll realize that the IFF is the I'm Fucked Foundation, and Sitch appointed Ronnie the Prez. The guys fail at stifling their laughter, and it pretty much goes without saying that Sammi does not get the joke. The next question goes to Snooki: "Which two guys/girls would you have a threesome with?" Snickers taps JWOWW and Vinny. JWOWW opts for Snooki and Pauly. Ronnie says chooses Sammi and Vinny, then jokes that he'd be okay with just Vinny, too. And then it's time for the classier tier of questions. For Sammi: "Which guy in the house could take a dump on my chest?" Laughter all around.

The tone of the evening shifts when Angelina gets the question "Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend or boyfriend?" Ronnie admits that he has and that everyone's cheated in the past. Says the cheater. The Situation says that even Sammi's not dumb enough to let Ronnie's roaming ways escape her notice. He says the same to Ronnie's face when the guys all go outside. Ronnie laughs it off. Sitch says Ronnie has changed since meeting Sammi. He used to be young and in love, now he wants his freedom and his "cookie" (Sammi). Then he adds, grossly, "I'm eatin' chocolate cookies every night, dawg!"

Ronnie heads back inside and asks Sammi to come to bed with him. She doesn't give a firm answer, meaning she totally will. Dear God, Have I died and gone to purgatory? Is Hell a continuous loop of Jersey Shore with only scenes featuring Sammi, Ronnie, and Angelina? Some days I feel that way.

Jersey Shore

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