But I digress... JWOWW maintains that Angelina won't sell them out because she's under imminent threat of bodily harm from The WOWW and her Tits of Steel. And yet here's the kicker -- Snooki says that, if she sees one more tear fall from Sammi's eyes, she'll "send" the letter. After all that, they still aren't totally convinced about executing their bird-brained scheme! I think someone could literally fly out the front windshield of a car 48 times, and they'd still say, "If that happens one more time, I'm buckling up my seat belt!" In light of this fuckery, I'm announcing my self-appointment to the post of President of the FFSF, a.k.a. the For Fuck's Sake Foundation.

Next week: The letter has landed! The letter has landed! Mike and Pauly double-up on chicks. Snooki reads Emilio the riot act.

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