Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 1199 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Mamma MIA

They eventually arrive in the club. The girls all move on pretty quickly by ordering the biggest frozen drinks you've ever seen, but Angelina sits herself in the corner and mopes. That tension isn't going to perpetuate itself! Except for in the case of Ronnie and Sammi, who immediately get to fighting over who was more hurt by their break-up. Ronnie interviews that all his pent-up resentment toward Sammi is coming out tonight. They spit harsh, indecipherable indictments at each other until they tire out and get a cab home with Snooki, Vinnie, and JWoww. Before they even get out of the parking lot, Ronnie manages to call Sammi a word that rhymes with "runt" before hopping back out of the car with Vinnie.

As the girls drive off, Vinnie escorts Ronnie back into the club for some creeping. Commence roid-fueled gyrating and vomit-inducing make out sessions with both grenades ("a bigger ugly chick," explains The Situation) and landmines ("a thinner ugly chick"). The best, though, is the in-between shots of Angelina pulling at her hair jealously that she's the last girl standing and still no one cares. But wait! The tables turn as Angelina acknowledges she's collecting dirt on Ronnie to tell Sammi in case they become friends again. But for now, she agrees with Ronnie that Sammi is a C U Next Tuesday. Then we're treated to some more shots of Ron Ron Juicehead, and by which I mean Aaaaaaah! My eyes! Ronnie just pole danced, y'all.

Back at the house, JWoww calls a friend and lays out her plan to beat up Angelina. It involves taking off her earrings, pulling her hair up... and putting Vaseline on her face? Over in the kitchen, Sammi tearfully wonders how she can still have feelings for Ronnie and he can be treating her so badly. She admits she still wants to be with him but says maybe things don't always have a fairy tale ending. But they do end with Ronnie deep-tonguing two girls at once! And Angelina grinning evilly with a twinkle of blackmail in her eyes.

This season: Big sombrero! Vinny bags Snooki! Grenades aplenty! Chick fights! Cement camel riding! And more!

Jersey Shore

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