The next day, Vinny goes with the girls to get spray tanned, because he's sick of being called Casper the Ghost. He brags that he even showered and exfoliated, then tells the spray tan technician that he wants to be "black." We get a full show as the tech sprays the Moby Dick-shrinkingly cold dye on Vinny's high-and-tight boxer brief-clad body, and I'm here to tell you that Vinny is rocking a pretty good body. I mean, it's no cartoon-character-absurd mess like The Situation, but for a normal person who has other interests besides GTL, it's on point. I'll just ignore whatever weird tattoo he's got going on his right shoulder blade (is that a cockroach?) and skip to the fist pumping goodness. In short, Vinny approves. JWOWW jokes that he looks like he belongs.
As they head home, JWOWW sees Roger driving in his car in front of them. She honks several times to no avail, then pulls up beside him. Ronnie and Vinny immediately start laughing that Roger has a girl with him who is doing "the ill dip." JWOWW adds that Roger's car was suddenly zigzagging, and Sammi laughs uncomfortably. I thought this was some sort of oral sex reference, but after Roger speeds through a red light, it seems the dipping was just him avoiding her to hide the girl in his car. Who was giving him head, hopefully. JWOWW laughs along with the others, but Vinny notices she's starting to spout steam from the ears. She immediately calls Roger -- who doesn't answer -- and leaves him a message that she's done with him. Which, unlike SamRo 2.0, actually means something.
Pauly and Ronnie laugh at the havoc they've wreaked as they make dinner for everyone. As the food is laid out, Sammi gives Vinny a playful noogie, and he growls, "Don't touch me, I'm tan." JWOWW emerges from her pity palace and asks for feedback about what actually happened with Roger earlier that day. Shock of all shocks, Sammi is the first one to jump forward and make excuses for a guy. In this case, though, it turns out that her justifications might actually be true. JWOWW remembers that Roger was getting a haircut at the time she left him the nasty voicemail, which explains why he didn't pick up. And perhaps the person who did "the dip" just wanted to get away from her crazy ass. Everyone squalls at JWOWW for being crazy, which is like a bunch of rain drops screaming at another one "You're wet!!!" during a thunderstorm. God, these people have no perspective. Also? Don't take away JWOWW's fiery spirit, jerks. It's the only thing that keeps me going some Thursdays.