The next day, Vinny worries about a pain he's having in his eye. As they head to the eye doctor, he flashes back to the pink eye he contracted in Jersey. Pauly joins him for his appointment, but does Vinny no favors by razzing him every step of the way, including in front of the lady doctor. The visit ends up being a no-go, except that one of the lab techs can't believe Vinny's actually Italian because he's "so white." Zing!

Back at the house, it's emotional destruction be damned as Ronnie fires up the blender for a batch of Ron Ron Juice. That's to say nothing of Sam, who's putting on her second favorite pair of white shorts in anticipation of the night to come. I think these people may have all been selected from an early-onset Alzheimer's test lab. How else can explain this intensity of short-term memory? Other than stupidity, of course...

At any rate, they hit up da club. Angelina meets a fellow (who -- spoiler! -- she totally blue balls later). Sitch gets lots of ab rubbin' until he finds a girl worthy to take home. What is The Situation's type, you might ask? Well, massive knockers to start, blonde hair, and smart enough to "go to college" (not necessarily graduate, mind you). I would have thought this one would have fit into the chicken cutlet-dropping grenade category myself, but I'm not Sitch, so what do I know? The rest of the roommates arrive back home, and Sitch leaves his flavor du jour back in the bedroom while he full-on knife-and-fork carboloads pre-smushing. Sitch pounds her out, then emerges. "Already?" asks Ronnie. And you know that is not a good sign. Sitch explains that he's mere moments away from kicking that trick out. He heads back into the bedroom, where he tries to act as smooth and caring as possible, all the while saying in as many ways as possible "Please leave." Minutes later, she click-clacks her busty self outta there. She is barely out the door before Sitch breaks his end-zone dance out and pronounces, "And that's how you get 'em out!" Ronnie snickers. Everyone's a dick here, don't get me wrong, but that goes double for Ronnie. He is vile.