The next day, Sitch bids goodbye to Melissa. Inside, Sammi asks Angelina about her part in the note. Angelina insists she had no part in the note and claims she's Sammi's "realest" friend in the house. Sammi admits she doesn't trust Angelina as far as she can throw her but also acknowledges that she's pretty much destroyed all her other options. So Angelina it is! About as good a basis for friendship as her "I'm not sick of you" foundation for a relationship with Ronnie.
Elsewhere, Snooki and JWOWW bask on the beach and talk about the things they want to do in life. Snooki says she wants to go to a nude beach, but only as a spectator, and she wants to bungee jump. JWOWW says Snooki's bucket list is the kind of thing "only crazy white people do." Snooki ensures us all that she's not White, she's Tan. Literally, when she's filling out FAFSA forms and whatnot, she marks the "Other" ethnicity box and writes in "Tan." JWOWW says she's done this, too. I totally believe it. What's more, Snooki says she feels she's been penalized on job interviews for her outlying choice. For what jobs? you might ask. "It was at a tanning salon," reports Snooki. Man, this is some Spinning into Butter shit
That night, Sitch hopes that the housemates will get past their "high school/kindergarten/pre-school shit." Don't hold your breath, Sitchy! Vinny and Angelina happen to be in the same room, and they get into it immediately. Vinny wants her to own up to her shenanigans, and Angelina wants him to be as dumb and pliable as the others. Sammi, Pauly, and Sitch watch the following confrontation like it's the damn U.S. Open. Vinny takes things to the next level when he tells Angelina, who laughably considers herself the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, that she's more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten. Angelina retaliates that he's a "22-year-old fuckin' pussy." Vinny wins! Pauly is full-on bug-eyed at this point, it's worth mentioning. His hair may be motorcycle-proof, but his heart is sensitive to conflict. Vinny finally stops participating in the fight and lets Angelina wear herself down. It doesn't take long.
The next day, Pauly gives Angelina shit for not giving it up to her boyfriend. Outside, Sitch and Vinny acknowledge to Ronnie that Sammi gained some major street cred just by stepping up to JWOWW. The second Ronnie heads back inside, they agree that he's like MacGyver for escaping this situation with basically no consequences. I think it's less that Ronnie is resourceful and clever and more that Sammi is the dumbest fucking fuckwit that ever existed. It's a good thing she's pretty. Cue to intercut footage of Ronnie sexually harassing Sammi inside (literally shoving his crotch against the back of her head) while Sitch explains that Sammi got dogged, that Ronnie basically peed on her, and she took it with a smile. It's a masterful crosscut, the likes of which show that these editors are earning their pay. Back in the hot tub, Vinny and Sitch agree that Ronnie might as well keep up his cheatin' ways because he can't do any worse than he already has, and Sammi will keep taking it. Cut back to Ronnie thrusting his teeny weeny peeny at Sammi's head. Asks Sammi, "Where have you been all my life?" She's trying to be funny, but the joke's on her.