Previously: SamRo 2.0 actually broke up. Horrifically. Was it all a mirage?

We return with a replay of Sammi telling Ronnie that she can't be part of their horrible, dysfunctional relationship anymore. He responds that it really hurts him for her to leave, then interviews that he doesn't know how to pick himself up out of the hole he dug for himself. He says he's so ashamed that he can't look at himself in the mirror. Oh boohoo. The Situation -- who claims he's "a pretty deep dude" capable of wearing many hats like "Uncle Situation," "Doctor Situation," "Chef Situation," and "Bang-Your-Girl Situation" -- advises Ronnie to hit up the gym and listen to music to get over his woes. He gives him all sorts of Guido platitudes, congratulating himself on his brilliance as he goes, no less, and claims he's "good as hell" at relationship stuff. Ronnie begs to differ: "Listening to Mike about relationship problems is like listening to a sailor about flying a plane." Sitch admits he doesn't have anything hard and fast to tell Ronnie, except maybe to listen to some Michael Bolton. As you do. He says there's nothing really to be done since Sammi's not coming back this summer. At which point, this unctuous, smug smile spreads across his face. Like her decision to leave had a G-D thing to do with him. Oh, Sitch.

Sammi arrives home, saying she's destroyed and needs time to sit, think, and feel better about herself. She gives her mom the update on how Ronnie destroyed all her stuff. She says she feels like she's been abused. Well, it took a damn long time, but at least she's finally come to terms with reality. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. Her mom tells her that it might not be meant to be and offers her a shoulder to cry on. Sammi can't believe that someone she loves that much would abuse her like Ronnie did. Over and over again.

Back at the house, Ronnie probes the housemates for information about Sammi. All the girls gently but firmly tell Ronnie that they wouldn't have put up with the shit he made Sammi go through. They can't even look at him. All Ronnie can say is, "Fucked up, huh?" He says he finally recognizes that he destroyed the relationship and finally knows what a good thing he had. Snooki can't hide her eye rolls, and he calls her out for her dirty looks. She interviews that, even though she's on Team Sammi, she's over this whole saga. Ronnie tries one last stab for sympathy, saying he doesn't even want to sleep upstairs. Once the crickets start chirping, he realizes he's not getting any moral support tonight and leaves the girls' room. After he leaves, the girls are all, "Really?" Seriously, though, what an ass goblin. He went on a fucking tornado-like, maniacal spree of destruction against someone that he supposedly loves -- and all because she attempted to give him back about one-millionth of the damage that he inflicted on her in the last six months -- and now he expects people to feel sorry that she finally decided to leave? Adjust your injections, dude.