After the credits, Joan knocks on the door of the house, which is a big, beautiful old place with leaded glass windows and lots of gingerbread -- which some of you might call "bargeboard." (Something the Harvard people didn't study.) Nurse Ratched opens the door. Through the screen door, she crabs, "What do you want?" Joan peers at something inside -- I can't tell what -- and answers, "Piano lessons." The older lady puts on a huge pair of those very 1970s career woman glasses and asks if Joan's parents are forcing her. Joan says they're not. The piano teacher exhales noisily and asks, "Then why?" Joan mutters unconvincingly about how she used to play when she was little and she misses it. Another moan from the teacher. Joan tries again, saying, "Because someone very important thought I was good at 'Eensy-Weensy Spider' -- how many reasons do you need?" The teacher says, "Fifty. You got fifty bucks?" Joan: "Fifty?" The reply: "Yeah. That'll barely cover the scotch I'll need after listening to another kid butcher Bach." As Joan says the cost might be a bit of a problem, the teacher closes the door in her face. Joan knocks again and suggests she could pay in installments. The teacher looks thrilled about that. Joan then suggests she could work for the lessons, maybe do some housecleaning for her. The piano teacher pounces on that: "You saying I keep a dirty house?" Joan stammers about that, and the teacher tells her to come back tomorrow at 4:30: "Bring your old exercise books. And if I have nothing to build on, you're out on your keister!" She shuts the door again, and Joan yells at her that that's not very nice. From inside, we hear a muffled voice: "Get off my porch!"
At the Girardi house, Luke is asking Kevin, "You sure you want me to do this?" Kevin, lying on his stomach, says, "Come on! Independent research. It's your kind of thing." Luke is wiping a dart with alcohol. Luke: "Sticking a dart in my brother's butt is a lot of things, but it's not my kind of thing." Kevin asks if he's ready. Luke: "Not really, but yes." Kevin warns Luke to keep his yap shut about this. Luke: "You think this is something I'd publicize?" Kevin considers that and realizes his secret's safe. He tells Luke to go ahead, and not to tell him when he's going to do it. Luke sighs and gingerly lifts the waistband of Kevin's pyjamas, remarking, "Oh, this is uncomfortable on so many levels." He pokes Kevin -- pretty high up, like a couple of inches below the waistband. According to one of our forum posters who should know, it's actually the perianal area that should be tested. But Luke probably wouldn't be that good a brother, and I doubt CBS is going there, either. Kevin says mildly, "Ow." Luke reflexively stammers an apology, and Kevin flips over and hangs his head off the edge of the bed, saying, "No. It's great. I felt it. I actually felt it." He lets out a fierce jock-like "Woo!" and Luke follows suit with a weaker, not as jock-like "Woo!"