Joan of Arcadia
Double Dutch

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Casper, The Friendly Ghost

Gym class. To Joan's surprise, Coach Keady introduces Karen Casper: "Before I elevate your heart rates to...something approaching healthy, I want you all to welcome her." She goes off to get Casper a uniform, and Joan walks up to say hi: "So, uh, are gym clothes as lame as you remember?" Casper nods. Friedman comes up, with his hair fluffed around a blue visor worn sideways. Maybe I should have called him Dweeby instead of Creepy. He says to Casper, "Hey...Karen, was it? I just wanted to make sure you knew that if you needed any help finding the girls' locker room, that's something I can..." Joan puts her hand to her forehead. Grace: "This is Friedman. You can step on him. It's allowed." Just then, Glynis comes skipping gracelessly by, her bright yellow track pants tucked into blue knee socks. And when I say skipping, I mean skipping rope. If you can picture an ostrich with long blonde hair in bright yellow track pants and bright blue knee socks jumping rope, you've pretty much got the picture. Joan asks where she got the skipping rope. Glynis answers in that way she has of phrasing statements like questions: "In the equipment bin? I'm just trying to release a few endorphins before class." She appears to be about to cry, and then twitters, "I miss Luke!" Oh, good Lord. Get a grip, Twitchy. She skip-stumbles off. Joan grabs some official Arcadia High blue and yellow plastic jump ropes out of the bin, saying, "Check it out! Look, we can Dutch. There's rope in here. Does anybody know how to twirl?" A couple of other girls chime in that they do. They get into place, and Joan says, "Come on!" Casper: "No, not here." Joan: "Come on, are you kidding me? Show 'em what you got!" The girls start turning the ropes, and Joan sings, "Casper, Casper, why you buggin' / Snow White wants to see you jumpin'!" Casper rolls her eyes, and after glancing nervously around at all the kids staring at the new chick, finally runs in and starts jumping. Joan follows her. Grace smiles broadly. Even Artsy and Schmoopy are smiling and clapping along. Joan and Casper keep jumping until someone misses, and everyone claps and cheers. Everyone seems impressed with the new girl.

At work, Rebecca's giving Kevin a hard time about his story: "You buried the lead so deep a bloodhound couldn't find it!" Kevin says he'll fix it and she can run it on the weekend. Rebecca: "Your descriptive powers were in full bloom, though." She grabs Randie's book off the desk and shows the author photo on the back to Kevin, asking, "Is this why you didn't come over last night, why you didn't even call?" Kevin: "Is that why you killed my piece?" Rebecca: "I asked you first." Man, they have more privacy in this workplace than most men have when they're donating sperm. I work at home alone and I don't have this much privacy. My neighbours, who barely know I exist, pay more attention to me than Kevin and Rebecca's coworkers do to them. Kevin shrugs, "I didn't do anything wrong!" Rebecca just looks at him. He says they haven't put any labels on their relationship yet. Dude? Not smart. She looks incredulous: "So you're saying that what happened between us -- it didn't mean anything?" Kevin: "No, I'm not saying that, I just...she kept coming on to me!" Rebecca puts her hands over her eyes and asks, "Do you think that I want to hear this? I am not your pal, or your sister." She storms off. Kevin follows her to her desk and says, "I felt like...a regular nineteen-year-old kid again. I never thought I'd feel like that...so...it didn't mean anything." Not that it helps much, but I sure hope he's talking about Randie there and not his relationship with Rebecca. Rebecca: "It did to me." Which I interpreted as meaning, "Whatever you did with her does mean something to me." Kevin pleads impatiently, "Come on..." Rebecca stands up: "You know, maybe this is my fault...for getting involved with a regular nineteen-year-old kid." She walks off. Kevin sighs in frustration.

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Joan of Arcadia

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