On her way to Judith's room, Joan pauses, closes her eyes, and prays quietly, "I know you call the shots. But I need you right now, okay? I…really…need you." She kind of nods to herself, as if to say, "That ought to do it."
When she gets to Judith's room, Doctor God is there taking her pulse. Without even looking at Judith, she walks right over to him. He says, "I'm here, Joan." She asks, "Why did you let this happen?" Judith: "It's not his fault, JoJo." Joan: "You make sure that she's okay." Judith: "JoJo." Joan tells Judith confidently, "No, he can fix this." Joan knows he can fix it, but she doesn't seem so sure he will. Judith says weakly, "Chill…don't piss off the only doctor I like." Doctor God looks at Judith and smiles. Judith: "He's the only one that'll look at me." Doctor God: "It's difficult not to look at such a beautiful person." Judith: "See? He's my angel." Does Judith recognize him, finally? From the very first episode, this show has always insisted that God doesn't appear to us; we see God -- or, more typically, we don't. Is Judith finally able to see what has been there all along? I think she is. For that matter, does she even know the truth of why Joan was at crazy camp? I've always suspected Adam's the only one she told the exact truth. And maybe Doctor Dan. I figure she hedged with everyone else. Doctor God decides to leave them alone.
Joan follows him out and demands to know why he didn't tell her this was going to happen: "I could have stopped it!" He replies, "Events unfold after choices are made, Joan." She wonders, tearfully, "But why couldn't she see all the other choices she had?" Doctor God glances at Judith through the glass: "It's about juggling, remember? Good choice, bad one. Good friends, bad ones. Light, dark. It's hard. You said so yourself." A nurse enters Judith's room, and while the door's open, she says, "Hey…Doc…don't take away my only friend…" Joan comes back into the room, as Doctor God gives Judith a smile and a fluttery Godwave. Joan's upset: "Oh…no, that's not true. You have lots of friends. Good ones." She's crying a bit. Judith: "Do not cry. I will be officially pissed if you cry." This strikes me hard, because my mother wouldn't let us cry in her hospital room when she was dying, either. Joan tries to pull it together. Judith suggests that she juggle. Joan: "What?" Judith: "You said you could do it. I wanna see." Joan's a little irritated: "No, not now." Judith's dead serious (pun definitely not intended): "You promised. You gonna back out on me when I'm in this shape?" Judith looks over at a table near the window and says, "Use those." Sniffling, Joan complies by grabbing three bandage rolls. She laughs a little before starting to juggle. She gets through one cycle before fumbling. She says she had it before, as she retrieves the bandage roll she dropped. Judith tells her she's too tense: "You need to relax." Joan tries again, goofs it up, and says, "I swear I had it before." Judith: "Don't try to control it. Just focus on the catching." Frink thinks they should be using the Chariots of Fire music here. Joan tries again, and gets through a couple of cycles this time.
Joan smiles at her improvement, saying, "Better, huh?" Her expression is glowing. She looks at Judith, who, having seen that her one true friend is getting better at catching what's coming at her, feels it's safe to go now. She says nothing, but her eyelids close in a couple of brief increments, and the machine she's hooked up to goes crazy. Joan looks at the flat line, and her face collapses: "Oh, my God! No! Judith, please! No, Judith, please!" She takes Judith's face in her hands and shakes her head. You can hear staff shouting in the background. Joan turns and shouts, "Oh, my God! Somebody! Please! Oh, God!" Medical people burst into the room and hustle Joan out. Helen and Fran rush over; Fran wants to know what's going on. They're all pushed gently outside by one of the many people attending to Judith. Fran and Helen watch through the glass in sad shock; Joan stands next to Fran, coming completely unglued. She's bouncing up and down, trying to contain her panic, crying and holding her hands over face. She wails, "Oh my God…oh my God, please…" It's just agonizing. Somewhere, Allison Janney is starting to get a little nervous.