Schlock-a-palooza. Kids are all dressed up in goofy costumes for the occasion. Friedman and Luke walk up to the theatre; Luke's got a totally cheesy 1950s-era silver astronaut helmet on, and Friedman's wearing a latex mask that's vaguely creature-from-the-Black-Lagoon, which has some kind of wiglike affair of black gorilla fur attached to it. Friedman tells Luke, "It's done, dude. The whole thing. It's right up here -- every line. And she wants to hear it -- I saw it in her eyes." Luke's voice is slightly deadened by the helmet: "What if you're wrong? You know, you've wasted weeks memorizing Hamlet just so she can dismiss you because she has no real appreciation of what makes you unique, just superficial judgments about you wrapped up in pretentious, dogmatic beliefs." Geez, Luke. Why don't you just wear something that says "I am secretly dating Grace Polk and all I've got to show for it is this lousy T-shirt"? Friedman, who's pulled his monster mask down at a slightly jaunty angle, regards Luke: "Whoa. Intense." Hee! Luke having this discussion with the mask is hilarious. Frink's gone into a dry wheeze, here. Luke apologizes, saying he doesn't want Friedman to be "emotionally eviscerated." Friedman, sadly, removes the mask, and says, "You do not get it, señor. 'This very ecstasy of love leads the will to desperate undertakings.'" I wish he'd delivered that line in the monster mask. Luke considers this and then hands his helmet to Friedman, saying he has to go. Friedman's thrown for a moment, then quickly recovers, putting the helmet on and going into the theatre.
Joan and Judith are in her bedroom deciding which dress Joan should wear for her date. Joan loops a dress on a hanger around her neck and studies herself in her cheval mirror, with Judith standing behind her. It's a yellow dress. I really don't think yellow looks as good on Amber Tamblyn as the stylists on this show seem to. It does weird things to her gorgeous complexion. Please don't wear that. Judith says it's hot. No, really. Please don't wear that for this date. Joan wonders what Judith's doing tonight. Judith: "Oh, hanging with some ass lumps from my old school." Judith finds the juggling balls underneath the blanket on Joan's bed and asks if she's trying to hide them. Joan claims she been practicing and that she's getting very good. As Joan pulls the yellow dress on over her clothes, Judith starts juggling: "Good. Joanith is so going to ace this project." Wandering to Joan's closet, she wonders about skirts and tops. Joan wishes she knew what Adam's wearing. I wonder, does he have a formal hoodie and toque? Joan: "I want to look like we fit." Judith guarantees that they will. Joan: "Did you dress him?" Judith: "Have you ever known a guy who could dress himself, unless it's for swimming or bed?" I might even take "swimming" out of that equation, what with the frightening number of Speedos still plaguing the earth. Joan smiles: "You are so saving my life." Judith: "And if I ever have a date, you'll save mine." I find it hard to believe Judith can't get a date. She's pretty enough, and she's a party girl. Seems like a lot of guys can content themselves with that. Judith explains, "I always seem to scare them off before they spring for the big night." She finds a sweater in Joan's closet and asks if she can borrow it: "I hate what my mom brought." Joan agrees blithely as she examines another dress. Judith suddenly pulls a simple black sleeveless dress out of Joan's closet, with two delicate pink fabric flowers on the left shoulder. It's very pretty, and I can't believe Joan was considering that yellow rag with this in her closet. Judith holds it in front of Joan: "Yeah." Joan: "Yeah?" Judith: "Yeah." She says she'll do something with Joan's hair, and makeup: "And then I'll give you some Botox and do your boobs!" Joan doesn't know what to say. Judith points out she's kidding. Joan, you need to lighten up a little, or this date is going to be one big ball of tense.