Will and Helen are walking up the stairs to bed. He's telling her about the case he's working on. This segues into an irrational comment about her conflict with Joan. As Will removes half a dozen pillows from the bed (Frink: "She has time to make the bed like that?"), he says, "This isn't the first fight you've had, Helen." She says this is different: "This time, when she left for Grace's, I tried to talk to her but she just brushed me off. Like she didn't care. Like I didn't matter anymore." Will says she'll get over it. Helen: "There's a time when a girl has to take a step away from her mother. She took that step today. I just don't want her to keep on walking." Will insists that won't happen: "You two are part of each other." Helen says her mother didn't listen to or understand her: "I barely spoke to her for over a year." Will: "You got over it." Helen: "Not really. Sure, I'd go visit a couple of times a year. But it was polite, and strained, and I couldn't wait to leave. I swore I'd never be like her." Will says she isn't. Helen: "Well, I said 'because I said so.' What's next: 'This is my house' or 'Because I'm you're mother'?" Will: "Wonderful phrases, all." Helen promised herself she would never say those things. So join the long line of women who made the same promise until they became mothers. Will: "The only thing we know about being parents is that every day we're thrown something new, something we're not ready for. You can always second-guess yourself. You were protecting her." Helen snuggles against Will: "We were like strangers, Will."
The camera drifts along the blankets on the Girardis' bed and over to the ones Joan and Adam are making out under. I think this is the first time we've actually seen them horizontal, isn't it? I mean, while they're making out. Anyway, Adam kisses her neck, and his left hand is holding her around her rib cage. Somehow from this, Joan deduces his next move -- I mean, they've been going out for a year, and has he ever even touched her boob? -- and says, "Adam Adam, no." This is because -- as you well know -- there are only two sexual activities: kissing, and vaginal intercourse. Kissing leads directly to vaginal intercourse and out-of-wedlock pregnancy, scary disfiguring diseases, and insanity. Anything else you may think you know about sexual activity is just a figment of your sick, depraved imagination, and probably the result of spending too much unsupervised time on the internet. Honestly. Why is TV so Victorian about this stuff? ["Michael Powell." -- Sars] Adam whispers, "It's okay," and kisses her on the mouth. She pulls away and sits up: "I just I just don't know." He says softly, "Hey, come on." He kisses her neck some more. Joan: "I didn't expect this now." You lied to your parents so you could stay overnight in a camper with your boyfriend of one year -- with whom the subject has come up before, very early on, at your behest -- and you "didn't expect this now"? Even after everyone around you tried to pound into your head why your parents might be opposed, and even after your parents made the nature of their opposition perfectly clear? It's just never crossed your mind that Adam might be thinking along a different track? Okay. Whatever you say, Gidget. Adam: "Sort of the perfect opportunity, isn't it?" He smiles. Joan: "I don't know. May -- maybe. I mean, you really want to?" That comment may surpass even her laundry episode in dumbosity. Didn't I already live through this on 90210? David: "You don't? I mean, you seemed like you did." Donna says nothing; she just looks like a scared rabbit. David says he brought protection. Donna clears her throat: "Well, we've talked about this, David. I -- we weren't ready." He points out that was, like, a year ago: "I mean, we've been going out for a long time now it's sort of the next step, don't you think? I mean, I love you, Donna." She says she loves him, too. They kiss, and lie back down.