Helen's putting some food on the kitchen table when Will and Lucyfer arrive. Helen doesn't say anything, not even "hello." Will walks toward the kitchen, saying something smells good. Sipping some wine, Helen says, "Any more garlic, the paint would peel!" As they get to the kitchen, Will says, "Lucy[fer] Preston, my boss. Helen Girardi, my other boss." He kisses Helen as she says, "Oh, that line never gets old." Will, oblivious: "Never does." Lucyfer shakes Helen's hand and offers a bottle of wine. Helen says she didn't have to. Will offers to get Lucyfer a glass of the wine. Lucyfer says, "Uh, actually, Scotch if it's going." Will takes her coat: "Oh, it's going." Helen says, "I hope this resembles food; I've been dealing with a deposition, and I had to yell at the vice-principal today." Lucy makes herself at home instantly, popping something in her mouth from the cutting board, and tossing her blazer on a nearby chair: "I told Will cooking is unnecessary. I could have picked up a bucket of chicken on the way." Helen claims she's happy to do it. She notes the casual toss of the blazer but doesn't comment. I like how Will's disappeared, here. Lucyfer offers to chop something; Helen gives her tomatoes to slice.
Helen looks at her, wondering what conversational gambit to try. Lucyfer brings up her favourite topic: "So Will's quite a guy. No way could I do this job without him." Frink: "Not the line to start with. Helen's got a knife, there." Helen doesn't say anything. Helen, by the way, is wearing an orange V-neck sweater over a T-shirt of the same colour, and Lucyfer's wearing an orangey-red V-neck sweater. They're both wearing gold necklaces. Lucyfer tries another tack: "This lawsuit thing you're going through, man, that's…that's ridiculous." Helen still doesn't say anything. Wow. There is no way that in Helen's shoes at this moment that I could bring myself to be quite this difficult and rude -- and believe me, I know from "difficult" and "rude." But come on -- this is a guest in your home, trying to be nice and make conversation, and given that she doesn't actually know for a fact that Lucyfer's after Will, I really think she's got no call for this behaviour. Throw her a bone, already. Also, I don't understand this strategy. If I were Helen, I would be trying to be as gorgeous, gracious, and gourmet-riffic as all get-out. And she's got home turf advantage. What else does she want? Lucyfer gets more desperate: "Will says you're religious. That must come in handy." Still nothing but a small, stiff smile from Helen. Lucyfer: "I was raised Southern Baptist, but, uh…now I'm just pissed that God dun't [sic] exist." Finally Helen speaks, saying sharply, "I think that's enough." Lucyfer looks up, and I can't tell if she's more surprised at what Helen said, or the fact that she finally spoke. Helen elaborates: "Tomatoes." Lucy stops slicing and wipes her hands. She looks around -- probably more for the drink Will's supposed to be bringing her than Will himself. Man. I wouldn't have thought Helen could be enough of a bitch to make me feel sorry for Lucyfer. Thanks for nothing, Helen. I feel like the Helen/Will/Lucyfer story is supposed to parallel either the Joan/Adam/Judith story or the Joan/Adam/Iris, story but I can't decide which one. Also: haven't we had enough of the one guy, two women stories? Along with the three I've just mentioned, last year there was Luke/Grace/Glynis and Kevin/Rebecca/Michelle. I'm probably forgetting some. Hello? That's enough. The next time there's a triangle involving two women, they'd better be interested in each other.