Party at Judith "Does Your Mother Know" Montgomery's rather lavish estate. Korn's hideous cover of "Word Up" is playing. Joan and Judith come bouncing down a staircase, tailed by Adam, whooping and hollering and yelling about "Joanith in the hizzouse." They generally behave in that obnoxiously loud and boisterous manner that I loathe so much in people who are drinking. It so often comes off as posing, too. Real or faked, it's incredibly off-putting. Joan grabs Judith's bottle of tequila and takes a swig. I would think that'd be pretty tough stuff for such an inexperienced drinker. ["It's pretty tough stuff for us veterans." -- Sars] Joan tells Adam, "Come on, Adam, shake that booty!" Judith says, "I'm so happy we're all together. I mean, we've got this connection." Putting her arm around Adam's neck so that she's practically got him in a headlock, she asks, "Don't you feel it? Like we've known each other forever." Hands off the boyfriend, Boozith. Don't make me call you Floozith. Adam, somewhat uncomfortable, just agrees as she propels him along. Boozith gripes, "God, my old friends? The creeps at my old school were such poseurs." She passes some guy playing pool and slaps him in the head, asking, "Why are you crashing my party?" To Joan: "They're just using me!" Adam just looks stunned as Joan and Boozith keep walking, catcalling, "Poseurs!" in unison. Ugh. They've got the behaviour bang-on, but it's just excruciating to watch. I lived through high school once, thanks -- and just barely at that. Adam calls Joan's name a few times but Joan doesn't really respond. They pass Friedman "Voulez-Vous" Owlander, standing there wearing a grey Duckie Dale hat, a red shirt with a lanyard, a dark grey jacket with several lapel pins, and, I think, light blue jeans. Friedman, dude, I paid money to see Duckie Dale. I knew Duckie Dale. Duckie Dale was a friend of mine. Friedman, you're no Duckie Dale. Boozith keeps blathering and drinking: "You guys…I love you guys." Friedman asks, "Does that include me, my sweet?" Boozith stops, turns around, zooms up to him, saying breathlessly, "Jon Cryer. Pretty in Pink. I've always loved you, Duckie." Then she -- ew! -- kisses him hard. Gag. Doesn't she know that's like feeding a stray cat? You will never get rid of him now. Stupid girl. On the other hand…maybe they deserve each other. She and Joan cackle as they walk off, leaving Friedman there dumbfounded. Fortunately, Boozith can disinfect her mouth with that million-proof tequila she's sucking on. As they prance along, Joan takes the bottle from Boozith, suggesting she pace herself a built. Boozith whines about Joan trying to kill her buzz. She announces it's only 8:00 as she spies another full bottle and grabs it. Joan: "Really? Party on!" Boozith takes another swig as she tells Adam, "You have got to tell me everything about you and Jo-Jo." Friedman's on their tail like a bad smell, eating chips and reminding Boozith, "The Friedman?"
Outside, Luke walks up to Grace, who's sitting in a hammock alone -- brooding? judging? -- and says, "High school house party. A primordial soup of hormonally charged organisms just longing for a lightning bolt and a little innocent mitosis." He sits down in the hammock as Grace says, "Dude. Article 2, paragraph 3: Parties, no contact, no communication." She leaves. No mitosis for you, bub.