Luke claims the ABBA CD is for "For science. Research. You know, about the optical recording process developed by the Philips laboratory…" Luke isn't a very good liar, but fortunately, he knows how to exploit his family's indifference to matters technical and scientific. Joan turns away, interjecting: "I'm bored now." Will: "I like ABBA…'Dancing Queen, that…doo-doo-doo…'Fernando' song…" Oh, Will. You're not helping my case here. Joan rolls her eyes. He turns to Helen: "Honey, remember that concert, you wore a white jacket with fringe…" Joan complains, "Oh, too much information." Will gives up. Someday someone should explain to Joan where babies, including her, come from. She looks at her mother's book list: "So, Mom, more recommendations from the surfing nun book club?" Hey, that sounds like a book club I'd want to join. So they all know now. Helen says that the first part of the catechism is questioning man's relationship with God, so Lily's suggested novels and essays on the subject. Joan says Helen's being brainwashed. Will gives Joan a look like he's glad someone's saying it, and that it's not him. Joan: "Why would you trust some surfer who settles in Arcadia?" Heh. I was wondering that myself last week. Helen: "There's nothing devious about examining spiritual issues." Luke adds, "Einstein believed there had to be some intelligence behind the design of the universe." Joan: "Well, Dr. Dan says that relying on some outside force to tell you how to live is actually a way to avoid living." Okay, that "Dr. Dan says" shit is going to get old real fast. Helen says, "I don't agree. And I don't think a doctor should tell you how to live." I'll bet Mental Acres doesn't give refunds. Joan snipes, "So you trust God? Because he really came through for Kevin." Will says that's enough. Kevin says it's pretty hard to believe in God, in light of the lawsuit they're facing. So they all know about that, too. Helen: "There is such a thing as free will. Us being sued because of you --" Kevin quickly interjects, "Oh, it's not because of me. It's because of Andy and his greedy-ass family." Helen says that's what she's saying. Kevin: "What, that God abandons you when you need him most?" Helen: "No…" Kevin: "Then God thinks it's okay that the drunk who took my legs can take everything else from us, too?" Will breaks it up and Helen says she didn't mean to start a fight; she just wanted Joan to pick up some books for her. Joan: "Yeah. About God." She gets up and leaves the table. I wonder idly if Joan would prefer that her mother were looking into Satanism.
Joan and Grace enter school and go through the security procedure, getting wanded. So they didn't just dump that after that one episode. Joan's wearing a cute black and white print dress and black cardigan, and complaining, "I thought, after spending [the] summer at crazy camp, I would know how to deal, but my mom's become all religious." Grace: "Dude, my father's a rabbi." Joan, barely listening: "Right. I feel like things are more whacked than when I left. You know, like Luke listening to an ABBA CD?" That gets Grace's attention: "ABBA? You're kidding! I mean, I don't care…" Joan, still not very good at the "observing" and "noticing" thing God always wants her to do, blathers on: "How do you deal with your dad being all into God?" Grace: "Sometimes I hide his yarmulke and watch him freak." Hee! But wouldn't he have more than one? Joan, still not especially listening, says she hears all this "God talk" and it makes her feel a lot of pressure to be perfect: "And Dr. Dan said that's what made me so dysfunctional. I'm a kid! I'm should be able to be just a kid, you know?" Grace mutters into her locker (which has hardly any stuff in it this year, other than a sticker that says "Love Drug" -- heh): "ABBA…and those little meatballs. No wonder Sweden's filled with drugs." Well, it sounds to me like she says "drugs," but the closed captioning says "drunks." Either way, the show's producers should expect a letter from the Swedish Anti-Defamation League. Joan gripes, "Thanks for the support, Grace." She glances down the hall and sees Cute Guy God leaning against a locker. She crumples a bit and whines, "Oh, no…" Grace wonders what's wrong, but Joan just says, "Nothing. See you in class."