Joan of Arcadia
Queen Of The Zombies

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now!
I See Undead People

Will's in the den sorting through files about the Baker lawsuit at home when Kevin comes in: "You really know how to take a vacation." Will says he wants to put all this stuff away: "I don't want it near us anymore." God, I want that desk. Kevin tells him he saw Andy again. Will threatens to get a "damn restraining order." Kevin explains he went to see Andy at the Y: "His parents kicked him out." Will says that's not Kevin's problem. Kevin: "You know, he pulled the plug on all this. He did the right thing." Will: "What about all he's been doing this past year? Stay away from him, Kevin. You can't trust someone like him, ever!" Kevin says there's more between them than just the accident and all its fallout. Will: "No, there isn't. Not anymore. I've been around people like this my whole career. All you have is family. Family is all you can rely on." Kevin: "Doesn't that make the world pretty small?" Will agrees: "Yeah. It does." He sighs. Kevin looks sad and thoughtful.

Joan walks out of the school, carrying what I presume is her new costume. She doesn't look too happy. She tries to go out a locked door. Female Custodian God comes around the corner and sees her struggling with it: "Don't be frustrated, Joan." Joan: "Why not? Things are a little bit out of control, don't you think?" Female Custodian God acknowledges it must seem that way to Joan, but from her viewpoint, everything's perfect. Joan: "Have you seen Johnny Broadway? He's insane. Every day it's something new. It's chaos!" Female Custodian God smiles and nods. "You wanted me to join the chorus, so I did. But now I have a solo. I don't even want a solo! This is not what I signed up for!" Female Custodian God knows: "Just when you get comfortable…bingo! A new surprise." Joan tells her she sounds like Johnny Broadway: "Look, I was just trying to do the right thing. I was. But everything just seems so random." Female Custodian God: "And you wanna know what it all means." Hasn't Joan learned yet that she's not going to get a satisfying answer directly from God? Joan: "Yes. Thank you. I do." Female Custodian God tells her to learn the song. Joan: "That's it?" Female Custodian God: "Of course not. I'm a kind and benevolent God, remember?" She offers to open the door for Joan, and tells her to stand back. She goes through an exaggerated routine of rubbing her hands and shaking herself around and then opening the door. Joan: "So now you do magic?" Female Custodian God jangles some keys at her: "Nah. Just having a little fun. Best way to open doors." Not sure what all that was about.

Johnny Broadway has jazzed up his black clothes with a bright red jacket for opening night. He comes bounding down a spiral staircase and encounters Friedman in camo gear, with a big plastic gun, rehearsing his lines: "Eat lead, zombies! Eat lead, zombies!" Johnny Broadway tells Adam, "Loving the trees!" Adam's setting up a large board featuring the periodical table on an easel. A student in a blond wig and white lab coat seems ever so slightly Lischak-esque. I'm starting to miss her. We haven't actually seen her since the third episode this season, have we? She's been mentioned a lot and there have been scenes in the science classroom, but I don't think we've actually seen her. Did she get a role on another show or something? Carl approaches Joan, whose hair is pulled back and who's all made up with white face paint, and it turns out he's about six and a half feet tall. Or maybe Joan's only four feet or something, but either way, he towers over her. He asks if she'd like to run her song with him. Joan frets, "I'm totally going to forget the words." She's wearing a sheer white dress with a high neck and long sleeves, and a sparkly red belt. Elizabeth, wearing a very pink off-the-shoulder dress and very bouffant hairdo and sitting nearby in front of a mirror, says, "You have to visualize it…written in the lights." She looks up at the ceiling to emphasize her point. "So, instead of looking at the audience, you pretend that you're reading it, up there. Like it was written just for you. Because it is the best song." Joan insists, "Elizabeth, I didn't want this." Elizabeth says it's okay: "My therapist says that with a voice like mine, I need to work on humility." Oy. She takes Joan's hands and says, "Break a leg. That's just a saying." Joan: "Mm-hmm."

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Joan of Arcadia




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