Will arrives home to find Helen in the kitchen making lunches, or something. I comment, "Good God, that's quite a lot of vegetable matter." Frink thinks she's making her own V-8. Just what the overstressed working woman has time for. She says, sounding slightly grouchy, "You're home late." Will: "You didn't get my message?" She replies, "Of course not." She admits it hasn't been a good day. Tell him about it. The man was trapped in an elevator for about ten hours. He says, "Sorry," and kisses her. She hopes his day was better. He tells her about his day. She smiles a bit: "That must have been fun." He puts his hands on her waist and says, "Helen what you did, having our children " He kisses her passionately. She smiles and says, "I think you may have passed the statute of limitations on thanking me for giving birth." No shit. That would expire long before the first diaper's soiled. Will: "I just can't believe I missed going through that with you." Yeah, who knew you were such a wuss? He adds, "You must have felt so alone." Helen: "There were plenty of strangers and painkillers." Will: "You ever think about having another?" Sure, buddy. Now you want to experience the miracle of birth. Helen: "Not today." I guess she never told him about suspecting she was pregnant.
She goes back to tossing vegetables around. Helen: "Joan cooked dinner and then she took off God knows where, and left Luke with a 103 [degree] fever sitting in the middle of a dark, filthy kitchen." Joan's quietly stealing in as her mother's saying this. Will: "Want me to have a talk with her?" Helen says, "It's not just Joan. It's, um it's our whole family. We're just not ready." She's decided she shouldn't be teaching: "Our kids can't handle two working parents." That is just ridiculous. Stop being such a control freak and teach those kids how to be more self-sufficient. Beside which, she was working before. Yes, her new job's much more demanding, but her youngest child is fifteen. They are all more than capable of shopping, cooking, cleaning, and doing errands. Joan, having overheard all this, comes in and says she was going to clean it up. Helen wants to know where she's been. Will: "Why didn't you call?" Joan says she was out getting fuses: "Luke didn't tell you that?" Helen: "We have fuses. And how does that take all night?" Joan says she had other stuff to do. Helen: "Well, what if I just took off when I had other stuff to do?" Joan: "You did!" She says her mother had a meeting and her father had work and Kevin had "whatever," so she covered. Helen: "Leaving your sick brother alone in the dark isn't exactly covering." Will wonders why Luke was in the dark. Joan: "Because the electrical wiring in this house is totally screwy! Which is why I had to go out to try to fix it and go out and get Luke's chemistry notebook so he can go to space camp!" Kevin arrives at this point. Will: "Luke wants to go to space camp?" Kevin: "Hi, guys!" Joan: "Yes, and if I don't have his application in the mail by midnight tonight then the whole universe is probably going to be out of whack, in some way I don't even want to know about, so if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the post office!" She marches out. Kevin: "Okay, goodnight everybody!" Helen wants to know where he's been. He wheels off, saying, "Uh, just out " Will walks over and stands next to Helen, saying, "You know, you can use a shoelace to tie off an umbilical cord " She just gives him a look. There's a wacky, sitcom-ish musical cue of the type that is becoming increasingly intrusive on this show. A little of that goes a long way, people. Settle down with that.