But it's time for a chat with Goth God, who approaches Joan, finally alone at her locker. Frink, checking out his makeup job: "It must take God forever to get ready in the morning." Joan sees him and says, "Oh. You again. Do you ever show up when I actually need help?" He says, "You don't need me. You're doing great." Joan: "Oh, okay, so you're here to, what, show me your new nose ring?" Heh. I bet God's piercings always heal perfectly. Actually, he wants her to pick up some Cream of Wheat on her way home. Joan: "Cream of what?" No, Cream of Wheat, Joan. God says, "It's got a lot of iron. Luke needs it." Joan says he doesn't understand: "I'm done. Luke gets to put on his space suit, Mom got to her meeting, crisis averted, have a pleasant day." She salutes him as she turns and walks away. She stops short after a few steps, frustrated. She stamps her foot and turns: "You're not going to stop me?" He shrugs, saying it's her choice to walk away: "I just think it's interesting that of all the tasks I've given you, buying Cream of Wheat is the one you're abandoning." Joan bursts out: "Because it's endless! It's a black hole of never-ending worries and responsibilities." Girl, you have no idea. Goth God: "It's called growing up." Joan: "Oh well, what if I don't want to?" Then you'll end up on The Jerry Springer Show someday. Or if you become insanely rich, you can be Michael Jackson. Goth God gets all Deepak Chopra on her: "In the brief time we've been talking, thousands of cells in your body have died and renewed themselves. You're changing all the time. It's how you know you're alive." Joan thinks it seems scary. Goth God just stares at her. Joan: "And now here's the part where you reassure me " He just says solemnly: "It is scary." I was hoping Joan would say something here like, "Well, thou hast comforted me marvelous much," but maybe she hasn't studied Romeo and Juliet yet. He reaches toward Joan's shoulder bag and unzips the outside pocket, pulling out the Archie, the turtle ashtray. He hands it to her, saying, "Fortunately you're not alone." He walks away.













Comments