Joan of Arcadia
Requiem For A Third Grade Ashtray

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Are You There, God? It's Me, Joan

Later that evening, Joan is setting the table and calling people to dinner. Kevin wheels in, complaining, "Meatloaf again?" Man, anybody who doesn't cook doesn't get to complain. Joan: "Shut up! This time you're eating it." Kevin: "Seriously, I just had a burrito around four, I'm still in a coma." Will and Luke arrive. Will advises him, "Kevin, you're a Girardi. Eat." Heh. To Joan: "Smells great, kiddo!" Joan says, "Mom's on her way -- she says not to wait." Luke, still in his robe, mutters, "You know, I want to be hungry, I do. And yet, somehow…" Joan hands him a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Luke: "Cream of…?" Joan: "Wheat. It has iron. Eat it." Will's filling his plate as he asks Joan, "You made this…like, uh, made it?" Joan nods and smiles, clearly pleased with herself. Kevin has an odd expression on his face, and he suddenly reaches across the table to Luke: "Dude. Pull my finger." Luke laughs: "What?" Joan chides him: "Kevin!" Will ignores them with a "boys will be boys" expression. Kevin: "Seriously. Pull my finger." Luke complies. Kevin lets one rip. It sounds much like a whoopee cushion. Joan laughs and is revolted at the same time. She asks, "Do you have, like, amplifiers down there?" Only Luke realizes what it means. Joan blathers to Will as Luke says quietly, "Wait, so that means…" Kevin nods: "Isn't that awesome?" He commands Luke to once again pull his finger. Will asks, "Guys…a little civility?" Luke complies again, and Kevin performs another of the incontrovertible Miracles of the Farts. Will winces, and Joan guffaws. Luke looks genuinely happy for Kevin, who nods back at him. Joan: "That's so sick." Kevin: "I think I've got another one." He points his finger at Joan, who refuses and tells him to stop it. Helen arrives amidst the glee and asks what she missed. Kevin: "Mom…pull my finger." Joan and Luke tell her not to do it. Wouldn't Helen realize what it means? Kevin hushes them. He holds his finger up and gives her his best "I'm your little angel boy baby darling" smile. Helen decides to humour him. We fade to black on another explosive fart. That just might be television's most touching fart ever.

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Joan of Arcadia

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