Cut back to the classroom, where the bell startles Joan out of her daydream. Grace mutters to Joan, "I think I actually lost body mass from boredom." I want to see Grace's daydreams about Luke, don't you? As they walk out, Joan says she can't believe she's looking forward to the return of Mrs. Gross: "I even miss her mole." The substitute calls Joan back and Grace whispers, "Do not cop to anything." The teacher asks, "How can you not be interested in Romantic poetry, Joan, with your imagination? I like that you made yourself a record producer." Joan looks dismayed: "God shouldn't be boring. And you're in my daydreams? That's worse than spying." Substitute Teacher God suggests that Joan do the extra credit assignment. Joan: "What for? This is my good class." Substitute Teacher God: "Because you might learn something, you might enjoy it, and because I'm asking you to." Joan: "Yeah, but those first two don't really matter, do they?" Substitute Teacher God says nothing. Joan: "What is it? I'm already late for lunch." Substitute Teacher God glances toward the board, which reads: "Choose a poem by Byron, Shelley or Keats:- Analyze and explain." (And yes, that's the punctuation. I don't think I believe an English teacher would actually punctuate that way.) Frink thinks the handwriting on the board isn't very female. He also thinks they should be more subtle about who's God. Joan says she almost fell asleep reading the assignment. Substitute Teacher God tells her to give it a shot. She also tells her to go before her fishsticks get cold. Joan walks out with a sarcastic wave, saying, "Stay out of my daydreams!" Good luck with that. Theme song.
Helen and Will are asleep when the phone rings. Helen answers it and hands it to Will saying, "It's Lucy[fer]." Will's slightly alarmed: "Why's she calling here?" Helen takes a stab: "She's your boss?" Will thinks he must have left his cell phone off. He takes the call, as Helen lies there, wearily wondering what's going on.
We see an old dead guy with a white beard lying in an alley. Dude, somebody offed Santa Claus! Will's crouched over him, and he says to Chewy (who's not eating anything in this scene): "I'm going with 'dead drunk guy.' Carlisle?" Chewy: "You're the boss." Will asks a uniformed cop if there's any sign of foul play. Hey! Elaine Hendrix! Lischak's back. And Barbara Hall wrote this one. The cop tells him the guy froze to death: "I don't know why you detectives got called in on this." Will: "Yeah, yeah, sweep the area anyway. Look for prints, tire tracks, meteor craters " The cop protests: "But there's nothing!" Will: "Just do it." What an excellent use of taxpayer dollars. Well done, Lucyfer. He walks away as Chewy comes over to ask, "You want to tell me what's going on?" Will: "If I knew." Chewy wonders if they're on some kind of probation. Will: "Apparently." Chewy gets all serious: "You know, Will, you can talk to me. It's kind of already out there, you know? It's sort of an open secret in the department." Will: "What is?" Chewy sighs: "You and Preston." Will shakes his head and tells Chewy, "She's got a thing for me. She's created this whole mythology. She claims I played into it." Frink is impressed that Will could come up with "created a mythology" at four o'clock in the morning. Chewy: "Did you?" Will: "No! I don't know. Aw, hell, I hope not. I'm a happily married man. The whole idea of it is insane." Chewy mentions all the pressure of the lawsuit. Will insists, "Nothing happened. Do you hear me?" Chewy says he does: "But we're in an alley at four o'clock in the morning for no good reason." Will explains, "I'm being punished because nothing happened." Chewy wants to know what Helen says, and he can tell from Will's reaction that he didn't tell her. Will: "How the hell do I start that conversation?"