Joan of Arcadia
Romancing The Joan

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The Duffening II: Electric Boogaloo

After the commercials, Helen's fallen asleep over her collage. She wakes up when Will comes in and asks, "How bad is it?" Will says nothing, unsure of what she's talking about. Helen: "My collage." As Will takes a seat, she says, "I know, it's sentimental and obvious and…it's not art." Will picks up a picture as Helen says, "It's a lot to throw away." Will looks at her, concerned: "Helen…" She replies, "Did you think I wouldn't notice the effect she's having on you? Even if you were a good liar -- which you aren't." He insists nothing happened: "Believe me." Helen: "I know what you mean when you say that, but every time you turned to her instead of me, something happened." Will: "I would never have had an affair with her…with anyone. But she did get to me in a way…I…can't understand it; I don't expect you to. She has a way of twisting things -- she uses logic like a weapon." Helen: "Evil." Will: "That's your language, not mine." Man, I've met damn few cops who don't believe in evil. Come on, Will. Helen snaps: "What word would you use?" Will: "I don't know. But I know I can't look at her now -- the things she's done…" He pauses, and then tells Helen: "She had Judith's killer executed because she thought I wanted it. She delivered it to me like a gift, and now she holds me accountable. She's dangerous, Helen." Helen says he has to turn Lucyfer in. Will says he can't prove anything: "I've tried. In her mind we collaborated, I was a partner." Helen's appalled: "How could you let this happen?" Will: "Well, there's something I haven't pondered." Helen's in no mood for sarcasm: "Hey! All I want from you is humility. Anything else -- you are on your own." Will: "You're right. I'm sorry." He kneels on the floor next to her chair and leans his forehead against hers. They embrace each other as the camera drifts out of the room.

Kevin comes into the coffee shop and wheels over to Lily's table. What, exactly, does Lily do for a living? I mean, she's not a nun anymore, and she seems to have any amount of free time. Is being a catechism teacher a paying job? I sort of got the feeling it was a volunteer thing. I would just like to know how she supports herself. Kevin: "You told my mother?" Lily: "I thought she was onto us. I blurted. I'm a nun. I've got this thing about lying." Kevin reminds her she's not a nun anymore: "And it's not lying to keep your private life private." Lily: "We don't have a private life! We had one date. So just…roll on, bright eyes." Frink bursts out laughing. "I'm working, here." Kevin persists: "Look, I have never met anybody like you, and I don't know how I feel about it." Lily: "About what?" Kevin: "You talking to me like I'm not even…" Lily: "God's gift to the human race?" Ha! Kevin doesn't say anything. Lily: "Look, you're handsome. You're used to that working for you. But it doesn't work on me. Men are fine, but I've lived the cloistered life, and it's not so bad." Kevin: "Is that how you see me? Some vapid, cocky, handsome guy?" Lily: "Yep." Kevin: "Wow. Thanks." She exhales a small laugh. Kevin: "Where does the chair come in?" She thinks for a moment and says, "Every guy is broken in some way or other. At least yours is obvious." He nods. Lily: "Um…I'll, uh, buy you a girly drink…what -- what was it? Was it, like, a pink lemonade soy smoothie with sprinkles?" Kevin gets all manly: "Uh…double espresso." She pretends to stand corrected: "Oh." Kevin: "Make it a triple." Lily: "Knock yourself out, stud."

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Joan of Arcadia

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