Joan of Arcadia
Secret Service

Episode Report Card
Deborah: C+ | Grade It Now!
God Is My Co-Pilot

Joan sits in Price's office with the "evidence" before her. He's not buying her story about cleaning up the mess. Joan says somebody could have slipped, and indicates she probably saved him from a lawsuit. He says he knows from the last time it happened (heh) that it costs $220 to clean up his car. Seriously? That's an expensive car wash…or a hella cheap paint job. Joan keeps protesting her innocence, but Price sentences her to a weekend of community service with other "brain-dead delinquents." He feels she'll be right at home with them, adding that he'll meet her at six AM outside the Oak Street Community Centre: "Oh, wait. I won't be there. I'll be in bed." He hands her the address, telling her, "Wear your painting clothes." She raises her eyebrow and opens her mouth to respond, then simply snatches the paper from him as the theme song winds up.

Helen and Adam are in her classroom alone. She's praising some of his work, saying how wonderful and powerful it is. Professor Frink: "Is there anything this guy does that's just junk?" In the foreground, some other student seems to have cut open the top of a globe and stuffed a bunch of…stuff in it. It kind of looks like a bunch of glass-tipped branches…and a small "flesh"-coloured pig? Okay. Helen keeps praising him, and just beams at him. Apparently it's so good that no constructive criticism is necessary. Wisely, the director doesn't really let us get a look at it. Helen hesitates and then nervously asks Adam for input on a piece she's working on. She shows him a mosaic. Adam is surprised that she really wants his opinion. She does. Adam: "It's kinda like those…Byzantine mosaics you were showing us, right?" Helen's pleased that he got that. Adam: "Maybe if you're going for that…I really like how Byzantine stuff looks flat, you know?" Price comes wandering in at this point. Adam suggests taking out the shading, which comes as some kind of artistic revelation to Helen. Price decides to interrupt at this point: "Mr. Rove! Perhaps you could tutor someone else. I'd like to talk to Mrs. Girardi." Adam leaves. Helen has that called-onto-the-carpet look. Price: "Glad to see you empowering the students." God, what a dick. He says he missed her at the budget meeting. She says she had some conferences. Price: "Yes. I see. I thought I'd rip the Band-Aid off in person." He hands her a piece of paper and Helen looks dismayed to learn he's cutting her art budget: "It's the middle of the year." Price: "Mmm, limited budget. That's how it works." She wants to know how she's supposed to manage with less money. Price: "Oh, it's a gut course, Helen. Draw a bunny, get credit." She insists she has gifted students, as his eyes land on a specimen that…doesn't especially bespeak wads of giftedness. He says her enrollment has dropped and the board just doesn't feel art is a priority. Helen is incredulous: "Art is not a priority?" Welcome to the world, Helen. It also turns out that there's all kinds of money for armies and not very much for poor and hungry children. Also? Sometimes people torture puppies. I'm just saying. Price advises her: "See this as an opportunity to look inside yourself, take some inventory." Um…what? What the hell does that have to do with her budget being cut? She's not being let go, right? The hell? He gives her an insincere little smile and takes off. I think she should look inside her refrigerator and take some inventory of just how many eggs she has on hand.

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Joan of Arcadia




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