Joan of Arcadia

Episode Report Card
Deborah: A | Grade It Now!

Dripping tap. Joan's in the washroom, rinsing her face. She's pinned her hair up out of the way. She hangs between the faucet and the shelf at the bottom of the mirror, mumbling to herself, "Barfing, rash, last day of school…you're a real party-in-the-box." She straightens up and sees reflected in the mirror two identical twin girls of about eleven or so. They're wearing matching dark velvet dresses with short puffed sleeves and white hairbands in their dark hair, which is worn in a flip. The dresses are weirdly frumpy and make their arms look extra gangly and weird, and they stand there in a very dead posture. Frink finds their hands very creepy. Sars mentions The Shining, but I haven't seen it, so you'll have to supply your own comments on the parallels between the twins. In unison, with some kind of slightly spooky sound effect on their voices, they ask, "Do you think that's how I work, Joan?" Joan turns her head slowly to look at them and remarks, "I thought we were going with monotheism." Bwah! That might be the funniest line of the entire season. The Troublemint Twins (they're two, two, two gods in one!): "I'm impressed you know what that is." Joan whimpers, "Why are you torturing me? And don't say I'm torturing myself." The Troublemint Twins: "Sometimes it's hard to believe what you see. So you have to trust the world behind your eyes." Joan: "There's a world behind my eyes? Great. Because this one is enough trouble." The twins reply, "People manage to believe in me, even though they have no idea what I am. They trust me, even in a silence." Joan, still leaning on the sink for support: "Oh…okay…can you just take care of the rash, and the…barfing…and save the haiku for another time?" She groans, nauseated, and leans back down closer to the sink. She lifts her head slightly again to glance in the mirror, and she sees the Troublemint Twins morph into one. Joan, impressed: "Very Matrix." God tells her, "Go to the doctor. You're sick." No shit, eh? Omniscience ain't what it used to be. She walks out. Joan calls out, "Oh, I'm sick? I'm sick? Ha!" Her body convulses with a fresh wave of nausea and she says weakly, "I'm sick," as she runs for the toilet again.

At the police station Will looks at Ruth on a gurney. Walter, being led around in cuffs, complains, "You can't keep from my mother! I have rights! You let me talk to her." Chewy tells him, "Here's the problem with that: you shot her." Walter insists, "She can't be dead! She can't be!" Chewy: "Funny thing about the bullet in the heart…" Toni: "Very predictable outcome." Will tells them to book Walter and he'll wrap things up at the station. They lead Walter past his mother as she's being wheeled out. Denise contributes unconvincingly, "I'm not the crazy bitch. She's the crazy bitch." To Ruth: "You are the crazy bitch, and your son is a moron!" So's whoever cast you. Really, she's just bad. She continues her feeble rant: "And he shot you! You see that? You got that?" Will steps in front of Denise and says, "Mrs. Washington, please." Denise: "Please what?" Walter's mother suddenly sits up and takes off her oxygen mask to say, "He was aiming at you. I wish he hadn't missed!" Will looks stunned, but it's like he's the only one who saw this. She returns to her resting position and is wheeled out with her eyes open. Will says, mostly to himself: "That woman is dead. I saw her die."

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Joan of Arcadia




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