Helen rambles on: "I feel like she's influencing him." God forbid anyone but you should. Cut the cord, already, Helen. Father Ken supplies this platitude: "That must be difficult for you." She wants Father Ken to talk to Lily. Father Ken: "About her love life?" He will not: "I feel intensely uncomfortable talking to you about it." Helen, in that dogs-only voice: "Why? You're a priest!" Frink: "That was almost a When Harry Met Sally moment." I'll have to take his word for it, since I haven't seen it, being unable, as I am, to stand either Billy Crystal or Meg Ryan. Helen suddenly remembers there are other people in the world beside her, and lowers her voice: "I'm sorry. You hear everything." Father Ken tactfully replies, "I really don't hear this particular dilemma very much." Father Ken wonders when she and Will last had a chance to sit and discuss these sorts of things as a couple. Helen: "What things?" Father Ken: "I'm talking about Empty Nest Syndrome." Helen's horrified: "This is not Empty Nest Syndrome!" Father Ken assures her it's a real thing: "People go through it. Maybe some counselling would be good. That's all I'm saying." Helen gets even bitchier and says, "You know what? This isn't helpful." He apologizes. She sighs, and grabs her stuff, saying, "Do me a favour and don't introduce me to any more nuns." She flounces out. Frink: "Hey! Don't stiff the priest! What's he supposed to do, pass around a collection plate?" Father Ken mutters to himself, "Not a problem." You know that other show I'm always talking about, with Grace and Lily? Father Ken can be on it, too. Helen, not so much.
Joan gets called into Price's office, where her mother's already sitting and looking unhappy. It's funny, because the closed captioning says, "Principal Chadwick sighs." I guess at some point they decided to replace him with Price. He invites her to have a seat. Joan: "I didn't do anything…I swear." Price starts questioning her about how much time she's been spending with Tuchman. Joan says she's been spending more time with him, related to getting advice about college plans and applications. Price then asks if Tuchman gave her a book of love poems and other personal items. Joan: "Love poems?" Helen: "Those things I saw in your room." Joan relaxes a wee bit, saying, "That was just stuff. Some CDs and books, but I gave it [sic] back." Helen explains that they worried about whether Tuchman has been "inappropriate" with her. Joan stares at her mother, incredulous, and finally says, "Ew. Gross. Mom, are you kidding me?" Price clears his throat, though the closed captioning insists it's Principal Chadwick. ["I was actually a little surprised that Price wasn't being as assy as usual in this scene; the fact that it was written for Chadwick would explain it." -- Sars] He asks if she knows Chelsea Burnett. Joan does. Price says she claims Tuchman lured her into an intimate relationship and that she's not the only one: "She says that he's also involved with you." Joan's eyebrows are halfway up her forehead: "That's nuts. She's…crazy. I…went to Tuchman's office to return that stuff, and Chelsea was in there. She was crying, and…" Price and Helen are listening intently. Joan: "Oh, no…she totally got the wrong idea…because I cleaned out my closet…" Price says he'll have to take her word for it at this point, but warns her that there'll be an investigation and they'll have to talk to her again. Notice he has a megaphone in his office? Can't you just see him using that on a regular basis? In fact, I wonder why we haven't seen that yet. He dismisses her. As she leaves, she sees Tuchman coming out of either the staff room or possibly the principal's office. He looks a little beaten down -- but then, he always does -- and he walks out without saying anything to her. But then when he closes the door to the administration offices, he stops and looks through the glass, giving her what I think is a hopeful smile. Joan just smiles back as neutrally as she can. But when he walks away, she looks like she's got her doubts about his innocence.