Joan of Arcadia
St. Joan

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B- | Grade It Now!
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Paranoid Schizophrenic With A Miscellaneous Complex

Joan's history teacher drones on about French history while showing some slides. Joan's head is down on her desk and she's snoring. The teacher asks a question, and while the resident history nerd, wearing a preppy pink shirt, waves his arm, Joan's snoring becomes more evident in the silence. The teacher picks up a metal garbage can and drops it on the floor from waist height. Joan rears up and says, "I didn't do it!" General tittering. She tells Mr. Dreisbach that she can explain: she was up late studying for AP Chem. He asks, "What was the tragedy at Agincourt?" Joan hems and haws while Pink Shirt Nerd waves his arm with impatience. Mr. Dreisbach says he's prepared to wait until after the bell. Pink Shirt Nerd gives her a look. Joan: "Let's see...we're in France, right?" Pink Shirt Nerd's going to explode if the question is not answered immediately, so he finally blurts out, "Mud! The field. Was a sea. Of mud." The teacher admonishes "Zakheim." Joan claims she had that. Zakheim, who clearly wishes he were teaching this class, lectures her, "The French soldiers and horses floundered in the quagmire. They got slaughtered by the Brits." Mr. Dreisbach: "Yes, thank you, Mr. Zakheim, for that amazing display of restraint." The sarcasm is lost on Zakheim, who gives the teacher a subdued thumbs-up. Shut it, Fonzie.

Mr. Dreisbach carries on: "After the debacle of Agincourt, the French, humiliated, divided, conquered, and then to save the day comes...Jeanne d'Arc, or as we know her: Joan of Arc, the peasant girl who talks to God -- or so the legend says." He switches to a slide of an image of St. Joan. Now he's got Joan's attention. The teacher goes on to say that talking to God wasn't unheard of at the time: "But, uh, Sigmund Freud would have provided Joan of Arc's parents with a different analysis: paranoid schizophrenic with a messianic complex." Joan: "Wait -- she was crazy?" Mr. Dreisbach: "God told her to get together an army to save France from the British. I think we can draw the necessary conclusions." Joan objects: "It doesn't mean she was crazy just because she talked to God." Some students give her weird looks at this point, while the teacher asks if she'd like to contribute another point of view. Luckily for Joan, the bell rings. The teacher reminds them that the test on Wednesday is multiple choice and true/false and counts for half of the semester's grade. He advises them all to get enough sleep. Joan stays at her desk, fixated on the image of St. Joan. Credits.

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Joan of Arcadia

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