Joan of Arcadia
St. Joan

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B- | Grade It Now!
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Paranoid Schizophrenic With A Miscellaneous Complex

Helen and Will are getting ready for bed and arguing about whether or not Joan's going through a phase. Helen says it's not. Will asks, "Well, why were all the other things phases and this isn't?" Helen: "Because this is different." Will wonders if mothers come with some kind of a handbook. Yeah, they do, and it's called If You Don't Stop Doing That, Your Face Will Freeze That Way. So do fathers, and like I said earlier, you need to read yours. Helen says Joan's been doing a lot of strange things, and thinks destroying Adam's artwork is a symptom. She adds that it's not like Joan to be obsessed with saints. I don't know if reading one book makes you obsessed with its subject. If so, I'm in a lot of trouble here, baby. Will thinks it could be a lot worse. Helen wonders if he wants to wait until it gets worse before they do something: "Kevin's still struggling with his anger, Luke's getting ignored, you're under a lot of pressure at work...I feel like I'm holding up a house of cards." Will says they're just dealing with family issues; Helen doesn't think they're doing so well. She wants to see a family therapist, and reminds him they promised to take Joan after her art show freak-out. Will: "Nobody said we all had to go." Helen also reminds him that Dr. Slater told them after Kevin's accident that they should all get counselling. Will's not jazzed about the idea of sharing their problems and emotions with a stranger: "It's an expensive form of whining. We're doing okay." Helen says that saying that out loud repeatedly doesn't make it true: "I want us to do the best we can. I want us to be a strong family again." She sighs. Will points out that Dr. Slater never told them where they could get the money for a therapist. Doctors are usually not too helpful on that front. Helen suggests getting a second job; Will flat-out nixes that idea. Helen: "Or we could go to a priest. Priests are...free." Man, if Father Mallory thinks Joan and Helen individually are a handful...picture him with the whole family. Anyway, Helen knew the right button to push. After a pause, Will asks, "Could you find us a cheap therapist?" Let's hope it's one of those areas where you don't necessarily get what you pay for.

Will, Toni, and a bunch of cops bust the crack house.

Mr. Dreisbach hands out the history test, expressing his hope that Joan slept well. She says she didn't, because she was up late reading history. Mr. Dreisbach sneers, "Oh, I'm sure." He reminds them only to use #2 pencils. Joan insists she did study, and she learned stuff: "Like Joan of Arc wasn't a schizo, for example. And they didn't kill her for hearing voices; they killed her for wearing pants." Mr. Dreisbach ignores her. Joan carries on, saying St. Joan's trial was totally corrupt and she was a scapegoat. Mr. Dreisbach says, "Tell me on the test, Joan!" Joan sighs and grouses, "You're teaching the whole thing wrong." Yeah, that oughta help your grade. The other students all look at Joan. Her teacher takes off his glasses to peer at her. Joan says, "Well, what really happened is these bossy judges forced her to wear pants in the courtroom. Made it look like she was a witch, which totally gave them permission to fry her." Pink Shirt Nerd, who today is Yellow Crew Neck Nerd, anxiously asks if this is going to be on the test. Mr. Dreisbach replies, "Don't ask me -- apparently my authority counts for nothing." He tells them to start the their tests.

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Joan of Arcadia

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