Joan of Arcadia
The Devil Made Me Do It

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Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now!
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God Told Me To

Thank God for commercials. I need to meditate or get therapy or something. I'm all verklempt.

Joan, her parents, and Adam are all in Price's office. Price announces, "All right, here's the situation. Mr. Rove refuses to lodge a complaint, which means there are no grounds to have you arrested." Joan turns around to look at Adam, who looks away. Price says he's suspending her for three days, for vandalism and "brandishing a weapon on school property." Joan: "Excuse me, it was a chair." Joan, it just might be a good idea to shut it at this particular moment. Her father admonishes her. Price says the only reason she's not being expelled is that her father is the chief of police and her mother is a school employee. No, he actually says it's because they agreed to get her some counselling. But you know it's really the other stuff. It would be pretty goofy if she got expelled trying to keep Adam from quitting. He tells her she owes Adam an apology. Joan turns to speak to Adam, but he gets up and leaves, telling everyone, "Soon as I make another sale, I'm outta here." Joan's all teary-eyed and bolts after him.

She hustles down the hallway beside him, holding his sleeve, begging him not to be mad at her. He's holding back tears as he stops and says, "You know that -- you know that I make these things to remember my mother, okay, because she loved them." Joan pleads, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please..." Adam walks away, then stops and says, "Listen, we're not friends anymore. We probably never were." Sure, my heart's splattered all over the floor anyway. Wipe your feet on it. Joan leans against the wall and sobs quietly. Man. How am I supposed to type when I can't see the keyboard?

Joan and her parents arrive home. Joan plops on the couch as Will asks Helen, "What do we do? Ground her?" Helen doesn't know: "Have her committed?" Joan asks in a pissy way that they stop talking about her if she's not there. Helen suggests, "Then maybe for a change you could talk to us as though we were here." Joan: "You think I'm happy? Adam hates me! He's never going to talk to me again. And did you see the way people were looking at me in the hall? They think I'm insane." Will is incredulous: "What did you think would happen? What possible justification could you have for going berserk?" Helen says, "She wanted to keep her boyfriend in school." Joan: "What?" Helen just gives her a look. Joan: "Mom, no. Adam is not my boyfriend." Her parents look at her skeptically as she says, "I didn't want to wreck his sculpture! I left it too late and I couldn't think of another way to keep him from quitting school! I -- Adam can't quit school. In case you haven't noticed...he's kind of weird, and if he just sits at home and works on his weirdo art...he's just -- Mr. Price said, 'So what are you going to do?' So I --" Will: "Smashed his artwork with a chair?" Joan, genuinely at a loss, asks, "What else could I do?"

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Joan of Arcadia

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