Joan of Arcadia
The Devil Made Me Do It

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now!
God Told Me To

Will arrives at the police station to find a bunch of media types waiting for him. He's asked if Allan Burns will be released today. Will says the situation is still being investigated. The reporter asks if Will considers Burns's actions heroic. Will thinks Burns will claim justifiable homicide, but cautions that he's not Burn's defence lawyer: "And you talking to me about this is like asking a figure skater about the state of the economy." He seems really pleased with that line, but Brian Boitano's on the phone to his lawyer and his publicist. He doesn't take shit from anybody.

Kevin's in a CD shop at a mall looking at CDs when one of the employees, who looks like a Soundgarden roadie in a Cinderella T-shirt and a toque, comes over with an armful of CDs, which he manages to drop near Kevin. Being the helpful sort he is, Kevin reaches down to try to help the guy collect his CDs, but Toque says, "It's cool, bro." He asks if he can help Kevin, who says, "Uh, there's this band called Red House Painters..." Roadie replies, "Yeah, we don't carry anything really good...just million sellers, so..." Ha! That's generally been my experience with these big chain music stores, too. He watches as Kevin wheels out, where he sets off the theft alarm. Kevin turns and holds up his hands, saying, "I don't have anything!" Toque calls out, "No sweat...have a good day."

At the art show meeting, Helen announces that she wants to intersperse the plastic arts with the concrete arts, and wants a large sculpture moved. Helen asks Joan and some other bored-looking kid for some help, but Joan's looking across the room and saying, "Mom, I think Grace Polk is juggling the ceramics." Why would she mention Grace's last name? Both of them know her well enough not to. ["See also: Angela Chase calling Jordan Catalano 'Jordan Catalano' instead of just 'Jordan.' The Dawson's Creek kids did it too." -- Sarah Bunting] Anyway, Grace is indeed juggling some small spherical ceramics. Helen heads for Grace, saying, "No. No. Art is not for juggling." Joan stands up and asks, "How do we move this without skewering our eyeballs?" The sculpture, which is made of found items like scrap metal, fencing, and light bulbs, has a lot of pointy and protruding bits. The other kid, who has a nearly shaved head and something of the intimidating air of a young, milk-fed neo-Nazi about him, asks if she noticed who made it. Joan looks for a signature and finds the initials A.R. carved into the base: "Adam Rove? Adam made this?" The kid sighs and says, " now you oughta recognize his style, Joan...and mine." Joan replies, "Well, maybe if you picked one style, I might." The kid -- is it God, or could it be...Satan? I don't know whether to make up a God moniker for him or not. Anyway, he says, "All styles is my style, all right? And I'd rather, uh, I'd rather Adam's sculpture not be part of the show." Joan: "Why?" She quickly apologizes: "Reflex action, like barfing." She tries again: "I'm not sure you understand." The kid looks at her. Joan: "Of course you understand, you understand everything, but it's difficult for already know it's difficult for me. Okay, listen...I don't hate Adam. You're asking me to --" Kid: "To prevent this from going on display." That's it, and he informs her she's going to have to find someone else to help her move it. He takes off as Joan says, "Shirker!" He just does the Godwave (tm 39mickemuskrat). Frink and I get a good laugh out of her calling him that, because in Arabic, shirk is the word to describe the greatest sin of all, which is "associating partners with God" or believing that the source of power is from others than God. Anyway, I'd like to know what made Adam overcome his feeling that he needs to protect his artistic gift from the likes of Price. We never get an explanation for that, and since he feels so strongly about it as to prefer to let Price think he's a stoner, I think we need one. He also warned Joan about telling her secrets to Price, so I don't think it's a minor thing. This bothered me enough that I graded this episode half a grade lower than I would have if this had been addressed.

Will and his favourite lawyer, DA Gabe Fellowes, are walking through the police station as Fellowes insists he doesn't want to press charges against Burns. Neither does Will. Fellowes: "Middle of the night, this hardworking, solid citizen is in bed with the wife -- his own wife -- with his children asleep down the hallway." Will says it's the DA's decision whether to lay charges, and he'd be happy if Fellowes didn't. Fellowes plays Exposition Fairy: "He hears glass break downstairs. He fetches his properly licensed and registered weapon from the gun safe and loads it with ammunition he keeps in a locked box. He surprises an armed intruder." Will, who's got better things to do, tries to wrap it up: "Shots are exchanged, the good guy's left standing, the bad guy dies, choirs of angels sing. What do you want from me?" They've stopped in front of a vending machine, and Will buys something as Fellowes says he wants Will to say that Burns is a hero and that this isn't a murder case. Will agrees he is a hero. Fellowes: "I want you to say it to the press. Leave figure skaters out of it." I can't tell what Will buys -- it's something in a little yellow bag, maybe Jelly Tots. Actually, I mentioned Jelly Tots once before in a recap and I think I got a lot of mail from Americans asking what they are. Some kinda candy, okay? I can't eat candy, so don't bug me about it. Will thinks it wouldn't be smart for him to comment on the guilt or innocence of a suspect before the investigation is closed. Fellowes: "So complete the investigation and tell the press he's a hero." Will says that's what he plans to do. Fellowes, surprised: "You're not fighting me on this?" Will: "No. We're in complete agreement." He claps Fellowes on the arm and takes off. Fellowes calls out, "I find that disconcerting."

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Joan of Arcadia




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