Joan of Arcadia
The Devil Made Me Do It

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Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now!
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God Told Me To

Will and Toni are interviewing a red-eyed Mr. Burns, along with his lawyer, who says her client is willing to cooperate because he has nothing to hide. Burns says he's not completely clear in his mind about what happened, and his lawyer, whose name is Hamden, says he's traumatized by both the shooting and his subsequent incarceration. Will tells the lawyer she doesn't need to use her "courtroom voice" on him. She says she's confused about why the chief of police is asking questions. Toni says, "We'd all prefer that the evidence show that Mr. Burns was acted purely in self-defence, but it doesn't." Is it wise to admit that bias? Burns reacts anxiously: "Oh, my God." Hamden says, "Relax, Allan. I've read the forensics report and nothing in it indicates that you acted in a pernicious manner." Burns insists Clark shot at him first. Will asks if he's certain. Burns says, "It's the one thing I am certain of. I was coming down the staircase...uh, there was only light from the streetlights outside. I saw a shape...I saw the flash from the muzzle when he fired at me, and I fired back." He says that the intruder ran out onto the lawn and aimed at him again, but Burns fired first. He thought he'd missed Clark, but he didn't. His lawyer asserts that Burns shouldn't be in jail. Will asks Burns to tell him how he came to own a gun. The lawyer immediately refers to the legality of his weapon, but Will says, "That's not what I asked. I'd like to know why." Burns just barely glances at his lawyer, who nods almost imperceptibly. Burns explains, with increasing emotion, "My wife and I were mugged two years ago. I was beaten. Fine -- I could take that. But they beat my wife...in front of me...and they said things to her..." He's struggling with the memories of this assault. He continues, "And she called for help...and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Do you have any idea what that feels like?" Yes, I think Will has some idea of what it's like to be unable to help someone you love who's been victimized by a violent criminal. He says, "So I swore that would never happen again. I bought a gun."

Art show. "Natural Blues" by Moby is playing, which is awesome. Price tells Helen that she did a nice job; she agrees that it's turning out really well. Price: "Well, let's see how many kids actually make a sale before we jump to any conclusions." Aw, shut it, Price. What a predictable drone. Helen says it's not about sales: "It's about display, and community...it's about young artists sensing the dynamic between creator and audience..." They wander off talking as the focus shifts to Adam and Joan. He walks up and asks her how he looks. I yell, "Cute!" Frink just chuckles indulgently. Joan, distracted: "Like always." Adam: "This is a new hoodie." It's a black one, over a grey T-shirt. Joan's looking at his sculpture, and announces that she thinks people have seen it enough: "Let's take it out of the show." Adam walks off as he tells her, "Relax, Jane, it has your name on it." She notices a little Post-It note that says, "For Jane." The camera drifts from that to Father Mallory, who I suppose must have been invited by Helen. He reads the description: "Ascension. Hmm. That's very apropos." Joan notes his collar and asks, "Are you a priest?" He says, "Roman Catholic, yes." She grabs his arm and steers him along with her to one side. He looks at her name tag and says, "Hey, you're Joan Girardi! Hasn't your mother ever mentioned me to you?" Uh, dude...what about that whole pesky confidentiality thing? Shouldn't he be a little more discreet? He seems to remember himself when he says, "We --- uh, she invited me here today." Joan could not care less: "Oh. That's great. Would God ever ask a person to do something wrong?"

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Joan of Arcadia

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