When they arrive in the administration office, Price wants the bully first: "Mr. Ramsay! Let's begin with you." Helen sees the three of them come in and quickly ends her call. Joan sits down on a bench next to a sorta punk-y, sort Goth-y guy with dark purple hair and several facial piercings. Helen goes to attend to Adam, touching his face gently. The guy next to Joan hands her a folded piece of paper, which she reads and tosses back on his lap with indifference, saying, "The Crystal Ball. Cool. Are you going?" He replies, "No. You are." Huh. Goth God. Joan gives a tiny, weary sigh and pauses a moment before telling him, "I hope you have a date for me in your magic bag." The bully emerges from Price's office, bitching, "We should do this more often, Price!" He shoulders Adam slightly on his way past him. Price tells Ramsay it's his last chance. Goth God tells Joan he wants her to go to the dance with Ramsay. Joan: "No way!" Then a little more desperately: "Please. You always said I have a choice!" Goth God: "You do. But if you're going to do this, you have to do it right now." Joan: "Or what?" He just provocatively raises his pierced eyebrow at her. She sighs, exasperated, gets up and heads for Bully Boy. Wow. She sure is in God's back pocket.
She goes up to him at his locker and asks to speak to him. He tells her, "I didn't touch you." He punches his locker a few times in anger and frustration. Joan is clearly freaked out but plows ahead anyway, grabbing a Crystal Ball poster off the wall nearby. She asks if he's going to the semi-formal, and shows him the poster. He reads it, crumples it up, and tosses it at Joan. He starts to walk away, but she stops him and asks him to go to the dance with her. He's naturally skeptical that Joan wants to date him, but quickly agrees and takes off. Joan watches him go, wondering what the heck she's in for now. This should definitely win forgiveness points with Adam. Credits.
Helen comes into the kitchen where Luke is doing homework, asking, "Is it strange that you're always awake before I am?" Luke replies, "I like to ambush my brain before fear and reason kick in." She insists he's too young to worry about those things: "That doesn't start until you're thirty." I got news for you, lady. Will comes down the stairs that lead into the kitchen, saying to someone on the phone that as long as he doesn't have to make any speeches, he loves it. He hangs up and tells them he just won a Community Leader award from some citizens' group for being taken hostage. Helen puts her arms around Will and kisses him. Joan, descending the stairs, says, "Ew! Children present." It's interesting that of the three kids, she seems the least comfortable with intra-parental expressions of affection. The boys don't seem as bothered. Will says, "Right. Breakfast. Glitter balls, anyone?" He's referring to the sparkly blue Styrofoam balls covering the table. Helen explains they're decorations for the Crystal Ball. Luke gives her a hard time about the corniness of the name, for which Helen rejects any responsibility. She's reminded that she needs to call Marlene, who wants her to be a chaperone. Joan says she can't chaperone. Luke wonders why she cares, since she's not going. Joan: "I am now." Will: "Hey, that's great. Who you going with?" Joan doesn't answer. After a bit of evasion, Joan finally tells them it's Ramsay. Helen and Luke are incredulous. Will: "Who's Ramsay?" Helen: "Why on earth would you ask that boy to the dance?" Joan claims it's because he's the only person who would go with her. I very much doubt that. Helen: "Adam Rove would have been thrilled to go with you." Joan: "Hello? Do I have to brief you people every morning? Adam. Hates. Me. Okay? I have to go." As Will asks again, "Who's Ramsay?" Helen calls after Joan, "We're not done discussing this."
Joan's in AP Chem, marvelling at how a light bulb goes on when she dips a wire into a beaker of orange juice. Her expression is just delightful to watch. Ms. Lischak prowls the room, twirling her pointer and reminding the class that science fair applications are due by the end of the day. With the usual optocraniodorsal prowess, she blocks Grace (wandering in late) with the pointer and wonders why Grace bothered at all. Grace hands her a late slip. Grace sits down and Joan says, "Will you look at this? I'm making electricity out of sugar!" Grace: "You asked Ramsay to a dance?" In front of them, Glenys and Friedman turn to look at her. Joan doesn't react for a moment and then says, "Luke!" I don't know why she thinks it's him; Ramsay seems like he'd be the sort of guy bragging all over school about going to the dance with her. Grace: "What is up with that? Are you trying to kill Rove?" Joan asks her quietly, "You didn't tell him, did you?" Grace: "I don't need to! You asked Steve Ramsay to the semi-formal! That's like a CNN headline!" Glenys smiles: "You're going to the dance with Ramsay?" Friedman: "That's desperate." No, if she were desperate, she'd be going with you. Shut it. Joan says maybe she was just trying to do something nice. Friedman: "Good luck! That guy is seriously psycho." Glenys tells Friedman, "You're just saying that because he threw you in the trash." To Joan, she simpers, "I think it's sweet." Grace says, "I heard he has a private arsenal out in the woods where he shoots squirrels and stuff." Joan: "And you believe that?" Grace: "Ask Rove. They used to hang out. Oh, wait! Rove will never speak to you again after this. Never mind." I thought he was already more or less not speaking to her. Friedman contributes: "I wouldn't worry. If you get into any trouble, Luke here will defend you." Luke: "What am I doing?" Joan says he's not doing anything because nothing bad is going to happen.