Joan of Arcadia
Joan of Arcadia

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B- | 841 USERS: C+
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Law And Order: Special Virgins Unit

She reads his ID badge, which says "Bailiff." Joan comments, "Bailiff God. I figured you would be the judge or something." I guess I should call this avatar Bailiff God now. It's shorter than "Red-headed God." He claims to prefer to stick to the sidelines and maintain a sense of order. Joan says that if she's supposed to pull her punches for Grace's sake, he'd better tell her now: "Otherwise, she's going down." Bailiff God tells her, "I would never ask you to compromise what you believe to be right." Joan: "Sounds like there's a 'but' in there." Bailiff God: "These proceedings are about justice. You know, it's a powerful force. It has the power to reveal the true nature of things…as well as the value of innocence." No offense, God, but you're boring me senseless. Could you at least be a little more ineffable than Mock Trial handout 3F? Joan: "But he's guilty, right?" Before Bailiff God can answer, Mr. Harbison comes in, accompanied by a distinguished-looking woman. Bailiff God announces, "Hear ye, hear ye: Mock Trial is now in session." Mr. Harbison welcomes the woman with him as a "real superior court judge, the Honourable Patricia Claymore." There's weak applause as it's announced that she'll be presiding over the proceedings.

Chewy's at the cop shop snarfing a piece from a huge blue ice cream cake. Honestly, Arcadia's a big town. Isn't there a program somewhere for compulsive eaters he could get into? Will wonders if the Good Humour man was robbed. Chewy says he got it for his nephew's birthday, forgetting that his nephew was lactose-intolerant. And if you buy that "forgetting" excuse, you might just buy a whole lot of other things in this season, too. Will talks about how all the evidence in the case adds up, except for the perp himself. He eventually rags on Chewy, asking him to stop eating. Chewy: "Sorry. Was I eating?" Are you ever not? Will wants to send the evidence back to the lab for another go-round.

Joan of Arcadia

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