Joan of Arcadia
Trial And Error

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Deborah: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Law And Order: Special Virgins Unit

Joan's trying to feed a bill into a vending machine at school with no success, when suddenly a red-headed guy appears around the side of the machine to tell her: "You'd better prepare. This trial could get personal, Joan." (Interesting factoid: the actor playing this God, Adam Wylie, played Jack -- of Jack and the Beanstalk -- in the Broadway musical Into the Woods. Thanks to Krista for this tidbit.) She thinks God should be able to remember that it's a fake trial about a fairy tale. He takes the bill from her, saying, "Symbols and metaphors can stir up a lot of passion." He feeds the bill in, and of course the machine takes it. (Frink says she had it oriented the wrong way, but I don't know how he could tell that.) Red-headed God: "You know wars have been waged over what a flag represents." Joan asks, "Is this about Grace? Because she doesn't even believe in the legal system." She wonders if she's supposed to let Grace win, to impress upon her the importance of law. God asks: "Would it be right to let a guilty person go free?" Joan thinks, then asks, "So I should wipe her out?" Red-headed God seems like he's going to try to explain something, and then decides it's pointless. He walks off without another word, and a really slow, exaggerated, prolonged Godwave.

Will and Chewy question the perp about the details of the murder. He seems to be giving all the right answers, from the looks the cops are giving each other. The perp's an okay actor, but I wasn't buying this storyline from the first second he walked into the station, and neither were most of you, so let's move on.

Luke's in the kitchen making a big-ass sandwich while Joan bones up on law. "Did you know that if you admit that you did something, it's less of a crime than if you deny it?" Luke mutters, "I didn't know it was the last piece of cheese. Kill me." Joan: "Interesting. A guilty conscience always rises to the surface. I was actually talking about Mock Trial." Luke enthusiastically slaps layers of bread and meat together and squirts mustard around. She asks, "What is that?" He tells her it's a Dagwood, and then, for the benefit of all the viewers under the age of fifty, I suppose, explains its origins. He blathers on as Joan says dismissively, "Grace was right. Some things just should not be remembered." Luke studies the contents of the fridge for a food group not already represented in his sandwich. Joan: "When you're done inhaling the entire deli section, I'm gonna need your geek services in compiling some data." He tells her he's serving as legal advisor to the defense. Joan: "You're helping Grace? What happened to 'blood is thicker than water'?" Luke: "Got trumped by make-out sessions in the biology closet." Those two really need to branch out and find some new sites. Joan scoffs that he'll be on the losing team: "Jack is totally guilty. The only question is, can I up the charges? Murder in the commission of a felony carries LWoP -- life without parole." LWoP? Shout-out, of sorts? I'll tell you, it's starting to feel like Television Without Parole over here. Luke sits down next to Joan with his giant sandwich and inquires, "Don't you think it's weird that you're prosecuting your boyfriend?" Joan: "Can it, Sigmund." Luke thinks it sounds like a "classic case of playing out feelings of resentment and aggression." Joan snaps, "Things are fine! It's our anniversary." Luke: "Yeah, but…I know how weird it was when you two…went away for the night." Really? How does he know about that, exactly? She replies, "I don't think you should be the one hosting Loveline. Your love life consists of making out next to jars of pickled frogs! Adam and I are fine." Luke picks up his sandwich and attempts to bite into it, managing perhaps the middle third. Joan grabs the top piece of bread, licks the underside, and slaps it back on his sandwich, smushing it down for good measure. Luke doesn't react much as she marches upstairs.

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Joan of Arcadia

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