Joan of Arcadia
Vanity, Thy Name Is Human

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Maybe He's Born With It...Maybe It's Maybelline

Helen's at a new canvas, trying to start a painting. She tentatively paints a stroke as someone calls, "Hello!" Helen fumbles her line and says, "Joan! Ooh! Don't sneak!" Beth comes in the garage and says, "It's not Joan." Helen's surprised to see who it is, and tells her that Kevin's not there. Beth says she came to see Helen.

Joan and Glynis are in the washroom, fussing with their makeup. Glynis: "It's a miracle: I got whistled at. That never happens. Unless, you know…someone's making a dog joke." Joan, kindly: "Hey -- Luke is all about you." Glynis knows: "But how can I compete with his true love? I mean, he refers to M-brane theory as 'stunningly elegant.'" Joan: "He doesn't compliment you?" Glynis: "Once he told me my dermis was pleasantly exothermic." Joan: "Ew." Heh. I used that line on Frink just the other night when I stuffed my icy feet in between his thighs. Glynis: "Jeff Fletcher just asked me to come see his band play this weekend. Isn't that crazy?" Joan: "Manic Toolhead? Nicely done." Glynis says she doesn't want to hurt Luke: "But sometimes I'm afraid he only loves me for my mind." She asks Joan if Adam compliments her: "Does he make you feel cherished? Is there genuine lust?" Joan: "Yeah! All the time. Yeah, you know, there's the love talk, and the poetry, and the gushing. He's an artist, you know." Glynis looks vaguely envious. She decides to go walk down the hall again without her glasses: "Wish me luck…and balance." She leaves as a redheaded girl in a uniform with a baton comes in and starts primping her curly ponytail. She tells Joan: "Too much eyeliner." Joan's slightly taken aback, and asks, "You think so?" Baton Girl: "No. You think so." Joan tells God: "I don't know if I look good, or like a circus freak." Baton God shrugs and says, "Perspective is everything." Joan wants to know why God wants her to do this: "The class makes everyone crazy." Baton God explains, "The way the world sees you can change the way you see yourself." Joan thinks Glynis has become a different person. Baton God: "It appears that way, doesn't it?" Joan: "I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Adam hasn't noticed anything different about me." Baton God advises, "Sometimes you have to see what you're not, in order to see what you are." Joan: "What is this, a Sheryl Crow song?" Baton God twirls her baton a little and leaves. Is that a yes?

Beth and Helen are in the kitchen now, and Beth tells her that she's dating someone at college: "His name's Todd and he's an English major, but other than that, he's really great." ["'Other than that'? What's wrong with English majors, Bizzoth?" -- Sars] Helen remembers that Beth likes milk in her tea. She says that it seems so normal to have Beth in her kitchen. I can totally see her and Kevin together; she's very natural and girl-next-door-ish. Beth agrees it feels normal to be there. Helen: "I can still see the two of you doing your homework at this table." Beth says that Kevin thinks they broke up because of his accident. Helen says any relationship would have trouble enduring that degree of stress: "You were kids. You still are." Beth says it wasn't like that. Helen says it's between Beth and Kevin. Beth: "But I had a relationship with your whole family. I just -- I can't stand you guys having that kind of opinion of me." Helen: "Beth, I know that you need some kind of closure on all this, but it can't be with me." Suddenly Kevin enters the house and calls out, "Back from the mines!" He wheels into the kitchen and sees Beth, and stops. Helen says with a smile, "Kevin, look who dropped by." Kevin: "Get out." Helen: "Hey." Kevin says he doesn't want her in here. Beth picks up her stuff and starts to walk past Kevin, as he says, "On second thought, since you're here, why don't you come watch me ride the little motor chair up the stairs. And then for big laughs, I can adjust my catheter!" Helen: "Hey!" Beth stops and turns, in tears: "Kevin, whatever you think that I have done to you, you've more than made up for it now." She hustles out the front door. Kevin barks, "Good!" Helen comes over to him and asks calmly, "Proud of yourself?" Kevin: "Yeah. I held back." He takes off.

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Joan of Arcadia

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