Joan and Judith are lying on Joan's bed. Joan's fiddling with her infected piercing. Karma's an itch, eh, Joan? She says she gave the laptop to the church, along with all the money she had: "But I still feel like the bottom of a birdcage." Judith: "Your mom freaks me out. She didn't call my parents." Joan: "Mmm, that's because she knows guilt is a much more effective weapon." Judith says if her parents found out, they'd make it all about them: "Drag us back into family therapy. A cigar is never a cigar in my family." Joan: "Sorry. This is all my fault." Well, I think Judith bears some responsibility -- she's the one who planted the idea about selling the clothes. Judith responds, "Yeah, like I go out of my way to avoid trouble." Joan finally gives up and removes her navel ring. She holds it up and looks at it: "What were we thinking?" Judith looks at Joan's stomach: "That looks nasty. It's gonna scar." Joan: "Tell me about it." Well, since you opened that door I can't resist quoting these Bible verses: "But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." (Timothy 6:9-10; italics mine.) Heh. Gotta love it.
At The Laugh Riot, some bald guy who's really not funny is doing standup. The whole Girardi family is there. I know there was some grumbling on the forums about how Joan ought to have been grounded or whatever, but I think that, even if she were, her parents probably deemed it sufficiently important for them all to be there to support Kevin that they would have suspended her sentence temporarily. The comic onstage says, "I almost had a psychic girlfriend once, but she left me before we met." Luke emits a wheezy laugh. He's the only one. He actually stamps his foot lightly. The comic, pleased to have gotten even this one laugh, decides to run with the paranormal theme: "All of those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand." Man, that's a hoary one. Luke's getting quite a lot of comedy mileage out of it nonetheless. I guess if you're sixteen you might not have heard it before. Helen and Will look at Luke like they're not sure they brought the right kid home from the hospital. The guy finally gets off the stage to very weak applause. Man, that guy sucked. While I have you here, let me recommend a highly worthwhile comedy show: Allah Made Me Funny. I know, I know: you're thinking, "Muslims? Yeah, they're all about the comedy." But Frink and I saw it last spring and it was freaking hilarious, and I don't find most standup comedy even remotely amusing. It's not just for Muslims, either. If they tour near you, I think you'd be well-advised to try to see it. I'm just saying. The MC announces that they'll be back soon with Kevin Girardi. Joan enthusiastically ruffles his hair. Will: "I don't know, Kev, I don't want people laughing at you." Kevin points out that that would kind of be the idea. Helen says to Will, "You've always thought that he was funny." Will: "This is different. I don't know why he has to do it here." Kevin waves to Beth, who's just arrived. Joan remarks to her father, "Pretty clear now, isn't it, Dad?" Beth says hi to them. Helen: "Joan, why don't you go get us some refills?" Joan, rarely short of attitude: "Oh, because I screw up, now I have to be your slave?" Helen: "Yeah, it's one of the joys of motherhood." Seriously: Shut it, Joan.